I bought a fruit salad for lunch today, because tonight Jez's mum was treating us to buffet at Star City.
The food was uninteresting. Their specialty this time was "Chocolate Fantasy" which turned out to be a small range of chocolate mousses and cakes. There was one item resembling Yogo to which I was partial. The rest were mediocre.
Nevertheless my inner child who, if she had it her way, would eat out no less than six nights per week, was jumping up and down with glee. Dining out? Yes! Dining out with Jezzybear? Yes please!
4.28.2008
Hello Again
Is this a Winter-thing? An exam-thing? I haven't had this for awhile but it's coming back again. Worse with every week.
I'm talking about morning-depression. "Depression" seems a bit melodramatic and it probably isn't the right term. I don't feel depressed. It's just that for the first hour or so after waking I feel like every worry had somehow grown morbidly obese overnight. They loom over me until about the time I leave for uni. If I'm leaving for work, they loom for a little longer. Does this mean I don't like work?
At the moment I'm a bit stressed out about medchem. And the fact that I didn't go for a run this morning. Or yesterday. Or the day before.
I'm talking about morning-depression. "Depression" seems a bit melodramatic and it probably isn't the right term. I don't feel depressed. It's just that for the first hour or so after waking I feel like every worry had somehow grown morbidly obese overnight. They loom over me until about the time I leave for uni. If I'm leaving for work, they loom for a little longer. Does this mean I don't like work?
At the moment I'm a bit stressed out about medchem. And the fact that I didn't go for a run this morning. Or yesterday. Or the day before.
4.27.2008
Berry Frûche
Eugene and I thought we'd be adventurous and venture into IGA for Frûche. Well, I did the venturing while he sat around groaning about his hip. I've never tried Frûche because the packaging was pretty so presumably the contents would turn out to be disappointing. Also because it bore some resemblance to Le Rice, which tastes like arse.
Berry Frûche, however, was delicious. I thought I'd bring some for Jez but decided that he's not worth it.
I love cock!
Berry Frûche, however, was delicious. I thought I'd bring some for Jez but decided that he's not worth it.
I love cock!
Smell
So like, smell is the most potent trigger of memory. Or something.
A woman I served earlier was wearing this perfume. It was intoxicating. It reminded me, at the same time, of Brisbane, Germany, Jez, summer fruits, and high school.
She wanted Codral Original. I was too busy sniffing her to pay attention.
A woman I served earlier was wearing this perfume. It was intoxicating. It reminded me, at the same time, of Brisbane, Germany, Jez, summer fruits, and high school.
She wanted Codral Original. I was too busy sniffing her to pay attention.
4.24.2008
Nooooooooooodeeeeeeeeeeeee
After dinner and ice-cream with Jez I met up with my mum at Burwood for awfully brief late-night shopping. She wanted to buy me some gym clothes. I told her I'd run in my bra before wasting any more money on workout gear. There was once a time where I spent more time in sports stores than any girl should. I have expensive trackies I never wear, and there's a pair of nearly-new $200 Adidas sneakers either in the closet or inside a locker I haven't accessed since first year.
She gave the frustrating "whatever you want" attitude when I asked her what she would like to shop for. As a result we spent a fair bit of time in General Pants Co. picking out a new pair of jeans. For me. Duh.
I decided on dark Nudie skinnies. They were $215. She thought they were a tad expensive. This is a huge change on her behalf as she once bought me a pair of $40 Wakee's grumbling about how pricey they were. Are all jeans this expensive? She asked. I explained the price-range between say, Cheap Monday and say, True Religion (although I really hate True Religion and wouldn't consider wearing them unless there were handed out for free with mX or something). I tried on the Nudies. I liked them. She liked them. She expected me to buy them, but didn't offer any financial assistance. Faced with parting with my own savings I said I'd think about it. She shrugged and said I should get them if I really like them. I'm still thinking about it.
She played BBA on the train ride home and we had a nice chat. I realised then how long it has been since I really spoke to my mother. We should go shopping every Thursday. There was once a time when the fact that she was showing great interest in the Sass & Bide section in DJ's was the motivator for me to go shopping with her, but that time has passed.
She gave the frustrating "whatever you want" attitude when I asked her what she would like to shop for. As a result we spent a fair bit of time in General Pants Co. picking out a new pair of jeans. For me. Duh.
I decided on dark Nudie skinnies. They were $215. She thought they were a tad expensive. This is a huge change on her behalf as she once bought me a pair of $40 Wakee's grumbling about how pricey they were. Are all jeans this expensive? She asked. I explained the price-range between say, Cheap Monday and say, True Religion (although I really hate True Religion and wouldn't consider wearing them unless there were handed out for free with mX or something). I tried on the Nudies. I liked them. She liked them. She expected me to buy them, but didn't offer any financial assistance. Faced with parting with my own savings I said I'd think about it. She shrugged and said I should get them if I really like them. I'm still thinking about it.
She played BBA on the train ride home and we had a nice chat. I realised then how long it has been since I really spoke to my mother. We should go shopping every Thursday. There was once a time when the fact that she was showing great interest in the Sass & Bide section in DJ's was the motivator for me to go shopping with her, but that time has passed.
I'm incredibly hungry
And WebCT is not working. I'm inclined therefore to stay home. Another couple of hours of z's sounds super sexy.
4.23.2008
4.22.2008
Some self-reminders
Medchem mid-sem exam, Wednesday next week. Borrow SDL notes.
Medchem prac this Thursday afternoon.
Pharmacol notes by the end of this week. PK and PG next week.
Consider looking up venues for 21st. Book bridge-climb soon, need money first.
Medchem prac this Thursday afternoon.
Pharmacol notes by the end of this week. PK and PG next week.
Consider looking up venues for 21st. Book bridge-climb soon, need money first.
4.21.2008
Something random that I miss ...
Do you remember pre-ordering Harry Potter books? I don't. To be honest I've never pre-ordered any of them and in fact held off reading Order of the Phoenix until after the HSC. Nevertheless I still miss the anticipation of opening one up for the first time and mentally nomnoming it.
I was quite sick on the day Deathly Hallows was released. By "quite sick" I mean serious gastro-enteritis and vomiting. I was surprised I didn't just dry out. Anyway, even under such conditions I managed to devour the whole thing by the next morning.
I can't think of what else would give that sort of satisfaction. A bowel movement, maybe. I haven't had one of those in awhile.
I was quite sick on the day Deathly Hallows was released. By "quite sick" I mean serious gastro-enteritis and vomiting. I was surprised I didn't just dry out. Anyway, even under such conditions I managed to devour the whole thing by the next morning.
I can't think of what else would give that sort of satisfaction. A bowel movement, maybe. I haven't had one of those in awhile.
4.20.2008
People Are Stupid. Not You, The Moneymakers.
It has been a sad little day.
Don't you hate it when you show up at work to find that your regular work-buddy isn't there? I mightn't have realised it but I prepare myself not only for work itself but also for who I'm working with. When it's Jim-or-John-day I'd make sure purpleberry is clean, arrive on-time if not early, have breakfast as there will be no random ducking-out for fruit salad, etc. So when I rocked up to Kirribilli this morning, 10-mintues late, donning 1.5-day-old hair and thongs, I was more than a little shocked to find Sally instead of Eugene. Thankfully I had breakfast.
On the bright side I suppose I'd be engaging in somewhat intellectual conversation for once. One that doesn't involve me explaining to Eugene why fish-and-chips is bad. Okay fine, I have to give him credit for his little relationship pep-talk last week, but I'm still laughing to myself about the fact that he somehow managed to dislocate his 26-year-old hip at the gym so I'm not really thinking about anything else.
Anyway, Sally gave me a little piece of information from Martindale that I found both useful for my report and quite shocking in terms of everyday practice. What did I find out, you ask?
Well, it turns out that over-the-counter preparations containing codeine and paracetamol are not more effective analgesics than paracetamol alone.
From the look on your face I guess you're just as appalled as I am.
Okay, so if you don't work in or frequent a pharmacy, I might as well have told you that Froot Loops aren't perfectly round. However, if you, like me, have seen the number of Nurofen Plus tablets people shove down their throats everyday, you might appreciate the significance of it all.
The advertising capacity of Nurofen Plus is crazy. They've gone from TV to street posters to giant display packs in pharmacy windows to stationary. A girl in my pharm-prac tute has a pack of Nurofen Plus post-its.
On top of that they've somehow managed to manipulate pharmacies and supermarkets to advertise them on special. There's something very wrong about opioid painkillers being advertised in the same specials catalogue as lamb cutlets.
Here's the difference: you probably don't need that pack of Tim Tams, but look, it's on special for $3 for two. Why not. You take it home, nomnom your heart out, feel guilty and go for a jog, the end.
Now the other advertised product: you probably don't need any Nurofen Plus, but look, it's on special for $4.95 for a pack of 20. Why not. You take it home. Knocking elbow on the bedside table: 2 tablets. Mild headache: 2 tablets. Period pain: 2 tablets. Sore back: 2 tablets. The check-out girl didn't tell you that ibuprofen is best taken with food, so a few months later when you're at the doctor's with a peptic ulcer you're surprised that supermarket painkillers could do that to you.
Inappropriate advertising is nudging people to buy medication they don't need, and the fact that these medications are available out of earshot of any health care professionals means that they're likely to be misused. And the bottom line is - Nurofen Plus is being advertised as a strong analgesic. People are drawn to the inclusion of codeine, not knowing that it only negligibly increases analgesia, if at all, and in the process misuse ibuprofen.
This probably explains the fact that we found little difference in analgesic activity in paracetamol and paracetamol with codeine. On the other hand, I probably shouldn't try to use our prac to make any points given that Mylinh was convinced that she had become super-woman after taking her drug, which unknown to her was the placebo.
People do claim that Nurofen Plus is more effective. But then again they also claim that Mintec is effective. And find that supplements have worked wonders when they haven't been on them nearly long enough for any effects to be exerted yet.
For its false advertising, Nurofen Plus could face rescheduling into S4. I think moving it up to Pharmacy Only or S3 would also suffice, but best be safe than sorry, because I know for a fact that a certain pharmacy allows their high-school dropout assistants to hand out Pharmacist Only medications with no questions asked ...
Don't you hate it when you show up at work to find that your regular work-buddy isn't there? I mightn't have realised it but I prepare myself not only for work itself but also for who I'm working with. When it's Jim-or-John-day I'd make sure purpleberry is clean, arrive on-time if not early, have breakfast as there will be no random ducking-out for fruit salad, etc. So when I rocked up to Kirribilli this morning, 10-mintues late, donning 1.5-day-old hair and thongs, I was more than a little shocked to find Sally instead of Eugene. Thankfully I had breakfast.
On the bright side I suppose I'd be engaging in somewhat intellectual conversation for once. One that doesn't involve me explaining to Eugene why fish-and-chips is bad. Okay fine, I have to give him credit for his little relationship pep-talk last week, but I'm still laughing to myself about the fact that he somehow managed to dislocate his 26-year-old hip at the gym so I'm not really thinking about anything else.
Anyway, Sally gave me a little piece of information from Martindale that I found both useful for my report and quite shocking in terms of everyday practice. What did I find out, you ask?
Well, it turns out that over-the-counter preparations containing codeine and paracetamol are not more effective analgesics than paracetamol alone.
From the look on your face I guess you're just as appalled as I am.
Okay, so if you don't work in or frequent a pharmacy, I might as well have told you that Froot Loops aren't perfectly round. However, if you, like me, have seen the number of Nurofen Plus tablets people shove down their throats everyday, you might appreciate the significance of it all.
The advertising capacity of Nurofen Plus is crazy. They've gone from TV to street posters to giant display packs in pharmacy windows to stationary. A girl in my pharm-prac tute has a pack of Nurofen Plus post-its.
On top of that they've somehow managed to manipulate pharmacies and supermarkets to advertise them on special. There's something very wrong about opioid painkillers being advertised in the same specials catalogue as lamb cutlets.
Here's the difference: you probably don't need that pack of Tim Tams, but look, it's on special for $3 for two. Why not. You take it home, nomnom your heart out, feel guilty and go for a jog, the end.
Now the other advertised product: you probably don't need any Nurofen Plus, but look, it's on special for $4.95 for a pack of 20. Why not. You take it home. Knocking elbow on the bedside table: 2 tablets. Mild headache: 2 tablets. Period pain: 2 tablets. Sore back: 2 tablets. The check-out girl didn't tell you that ibuprofen is best taken with food, so a few months later when you're at the doctor's with a peptic ulcer you're surprised that supermarket painkillers could do that to you.
Inappropriate advertising is nudging people to buy medication they don't need, and the fact that these medications are available out of earshot of any health care professionals means that they're likely to be misused. And the bottom line is - Nurofen Plus is being advertised as a strong analgesic. People are drawn to the inclusion of codeine, not knowing that it only negligibly increases analgesia, if at all, and in the process misuse ibuprofen.
This probably explains the fact that we found little difference in analgesic activity in paracetamol and paracetamol with codeine. On the other hand, I probably shouldn't try to use our prac to make any points given that Mylinh was convinced that she had become super-woman after taking her drug, which unknown to her was the placebo.
People do claim that Nurofen Plus is more effective. But then again they also claim that Mintec is effective. And find that supplements have worked wonders when they haven't been on them nearly long enough for any effects to be exerted yet.
For its false advertising, Nurofen Plus could face rescheduling into S4. I think moving it up to Pharmacy Only or S3 would also suffice, but best be safe than sorry, because I know for a fact that a certain pharmacy allows their high-school dropout assistants to hand out Pharmacist Only medications with no questions asked ...
4.17.2008
Tired
It's becoming increasingly difficult to crawl out of bed in the morning. Somehow I still manage to do so at 6 am everyday and run around for half an hour, but for the rest of the day I'm pretty much brain-dead.
So I was out on my run this morning. It's funny that on some days this exercise is surprisingly easy while on others - like today - every patch of grass is beckoning me to snooze on it. By the end of it all I was slumped in the shower with my eyes half-closed, lathering my face with hair conditioner.
Then to Jez's place for the most mind-blowing nap of my life. Words fail to describe how comfortable it was. The fact that I was very freshly showered in the comfort of my own bathroom (which the other 99% of the time isn't the case) must have been it.
We had to get up in time for me to go to work. It was a favour for Freida and I was inclined not to keep my word because the bed ... really ... electric blanket ... warmth ... just ... like ... sleepy ... marshmallow ...
So I was out on my run this morning. It's funny that on some days this exercise is surprisingly easy while on others - like today - every patch of grass is beckoning me to snooze on it. By the end of it all I was slumped in the shower with my eyes half-closed, lathering my face with hair conditioner.
Then to Jez's place for the most mind-blowing nap of my life. Words fail to describe how comfortable it was. The fact that I was very freshly showered in the comfort of my own bathroom (which the other 99% of the time isn't the case) must have been it.
We had to get up in time for me to go to work. It was a favour for Freida and I was inclined not to keep my word because the bed ... really ... electric blanket ... warmth ... just ... like ... sleepy ... marshmallow ...
4.16.2008
In other news ...
We ate that Japanese restaurant near World Square. Was it called Miso? Who knows.
I ordered the ... you know what, nevermind. Because I don't remember that either.
It included tempura, fried tofu and salmon, sashimi, and best of all large fish roe on rice. I was interested in the last two and not much else. Jez ordered a chicken thing with chillies on top. I wasn't a fan of the chicken but the little side dishes was delicious.
I'm chock full of descriptors tonight.
I ordered the ... you know what, nevermind. Because I don't remember that either.
It included tempura, fried tofu and salmon, sashimi, and best of all large fish roe on rice. I was interested in the last two and not much else. Jez ordered a chicken thing with chillies on top. I wasn't a fan of the chicken but the little side dishes was delicious.
I'm chock full of descriptors tonight.
Preen
It's interesting to note how much effort, time and money us girls are willing to sacrifice for a special occasion.
This upcoming occasion is special only in the sense that it gives me the first opportunity since Friday-night Priviledge to wear a dress.
Nevertheless, I ordered a $159 Witchery dress, bought a $99 vintage glomesh clutch to match, plan to have my hair done because my ghd iron is too narrow for the wavy kind of thing I want, and am currently shopping for jewellery.
And this is for a night I'll be spending in the company of several hundred people I neither know nor care about. Although given the opportunity there's nothing holding me back from pressing a well-placed stiletto heel into someone's foot. I'm kidding. Because we're not allowed stilettos.
My crazy actions have been driven by a little egotistical person in my head that wants to let the world know that Jez has a pretty girlfriend. It told me to splurge on a $1,000 Swarovski necklace and I tried to listen but my bank account balance didn't agree.
This upcoming occasion is special only in the sense that it gives me the first opportunity since Friday-night Priviledge to wear a dress.
Nevertheless, I ordered a $159 Witchery dress, bought a $99 vintage glomesh clutch to match, plan to have my hair done because my ghd iron is too narrow for the wavy kind of thing I want, and am currently shopping for jewellery.
And this is for a night I'll be spending in the company of several hundred people I neither know nor care about. Although given the opportunity there's nothing holding me back from pressing a well-placed stiletto heel into someone's foot. I'm kidding. Because we're not allowed stilettos.
My crazy actions have been driven by a little egotistical person in my head that wants to let the world know that Jez has a pretty girlfriend. It told me to splurge on a $1,000 Swarovski necklace and I tried to listen but my bank account balance didn't agree.
4.14.2008
Oh shit.
I don't think it's fair for me to complain about being stressed because there isn't anyone besides me to blame. So I'll keep quiet. But just so you know I'm very stressed. And I want my AMH.
In other news Jez is back. I didn't kill him. I just used him to try out some of my new sex tricks acquired from my practice buddy. :)
In other news Jez is back. I didn't kill him. I just used him to try out some of my new sex tricks acquired from my practice buddy. :)
4.13.2008
Grrr.
It's 11:00 am. I'm at work, and I'm in a rage.
Rage directed primarily at Jez for once again failing to grasp the concept of promises, little as they are. No seriously, I get that you're busy. I get that you're at camp and probably enjoying yourself beyond my imagination. But being considerate could be as simple as calling me on the way to the toilet and letting me know that you won't have time to talk until you're back. At least I won't be irritably waiting for absolutely nothing at all.
Eugene has noticed. He asked. I told. He said Jez is probably getting it on with some first-year commerce girls. Somehow I couldn't bring myself to doubt it.
So I thought about it. If he's going to mess around, it's going to happen sooner or later. If something as trivial as a 3-day camp can bring out this side of him (and that side exists because he has cheated before. Not on me, but whatever) then obviously this can't be someone I can be with.
Anyway, while it was quiet we had a bit of a talk, seeing as I was getting close to tears. Eugene, being after all twenty-six years old attributed everything to our young age. Apparently twenty-six-year-olds have a very different concept of relationships as twenty-year-olds do. I don't doubt this because six years is a lot of experience, but unlike Eugene I've never taken relationships lightly. I thought I was mature. But really I'm not.
I can never bring myself to discuss this sort of problem with my parents or grandparents. Age gap a bit too wide. Besides, now that they've finally stopped losing sleep worrying about me I don't want it them to start again. So this might possibly be the first time I'm talking about this with someone older. Not just two or three years older like Mike or Karen (the former probably has the maturity equivalent to a high-school kid anyway). It's not good. I'm sitting here feeling ten times more naive than I did half an hour ago. Everything I thought I had learnt from previous relationships somehow don't seem substantial anymore.
I've already listed my ugly quirks in some post a billion years ago. Sadly, I might have been taking the mickey back then, but I really am not kidding anymore.
Rage directed primarily at Jez for once again failing to grasp the concept of promises, little as they are. No seriously, I get that you're busy. I get that you're at camp and probably enjoying yourself beyond my imagination. But being considerate could be as simple as calling me on the way to the toilet and letting me know that you won't have time to talk until you're back. At least I won't be irritably waiting for absolutely nothing at all.
Eugene has noticed. He asked. I told. He said Jez is probably getting it on with some first-year commerce girls. Somehow I couldn't bring myself to doubt it.
So I thought about it. If he's going to mess around, it's going to happen sooner or later. If something as trivial as a 3-day camp can bring out this side of him (and that side exists because he has cheated before. Not on me, but whatever) then obviously this can't be someone I can be with.
Anyway, while it was quiet we had a bit of a talk, seeing as I was getting close to tears. Eugene, being after all twenty-six years old attributed everything to our young age. Apparently twenty-six-year-olds have a very different concept of relationships as twenty-year-olds do. I don't doubt this because six years is a lot of experience, but unlike Eugene I've never taken relationships lightly. I thought I was mature. But really I'm not.
I can never bring myself to discuss this sort of problem with my parents or grandparents. Age gap a bit too wide. Besides, now that they've finally stopped losing sleep worrying about me I don't want it them to start again. So this might possibly be the first time I'm talking about this with someone older. Not just two or three years older like Mike or Karen (the former probably has the maturity equivalent to a high-school kid anyway). It's not good. I'm sitting here feeling ten times more naive than I did half an hour ago. Everything I thought I had learnt from previous relationships somehow don't seem substantial anymore.
I've already listed my ugly quirks in some post a billion years ago. Sadly, I might have been taking the mickey back then, but I really am not kidding anymore.
Fog
I went for a jog this morning. Ten minutes after I started, a fog settled in and became so strong that it was difficult to see the end of the street. Everything was blurry and white. Or grey. Or both. On top of that there wasn't a single soul - walking, driving, bicycling - in sight, and black crows screeched from the sky. At least I think they were crows. I couldn't see.
But anyway, I was a little creeped by how everything seemed so ... dead.
And then there was me. Huffing and puffing six times around the block.
When Jez comes back tonight he's going to get it. "It" being nothing good. Before leaving for camp the boy promised that he'd call every night, and that he'll let me know as soon as he finds out what time he'll be back on Sunday.
First night I call him. He conveniently forgets to tell me that he'll be spending Thursday night at Ken's and was in fact still in Sydney. Says he'll call me as soon as they arrive so I needn't worry.
They left Sydney on Friday morning. He calls me on Friday night and says he's been crazy busy. I understand. He tells me he'll call later. In the middle of the night he does, but before my phone rang for more than a couple of seconds, his switches off. And remains off until who-knows-when, but when I called on Saturday afternoon it was ringing again. He doesn't pick up. I get bored at the library and call a number of times. He doesn't pick up. At night he sends me a rushed SMS. I message back and tell him to call me later if he has time. I guess he didn't. At 5 am I'm disoriented from a dream and dial his number somehow forgetting he was at camp. He doesn't pick up. Must be asleep, I thought. I call again. He picks up and there's no sound. Hangs up after two seconds. I call again and it keeps ringing. I wonder what they're so busy with at 5 in the morning.
Call me spoilt because I know it has been only three days and it isn't as if I hadn't heard from him at all. But I'm so very sick of waiting in vain for him to do things he promised he would do.
But anyway, I was a little creeped by how everything seemed so ... dead.
And then there was me. Huffing and puffing six times around the block.
When Jez comes back tonight he's going to get it. "It" being nothing good. Before leaving for camp the boy promised that he'd call every night, and that he'll let me know as soon as he finds out what time he'll be back on Sunday.
First night I call him. He conveniently forgets to tell me that he'll be spending Thursday night at Ken's and was in fact still in Sydney. Says he'll call me as soon as they arrive so I needn't worry.
They left Sydney on Friday morning. He calls me on Friday night and says he's been crazy busy. I understand. He tells me he'll call later. In the middle of the night he does, but before my phone rang for more than a couple of seconds, his switches off. And remains off until who-knows-when, but when I called on Saturday afternoon it was ringing again. He doesn't pick up. I get bored at the library and call a number of times. He doesn't pick up. At night he sends me a rushed SMS. I message back and tell him to call me later if he has time. I guess he didn't. At 5 am I'm disoriented from a dream and dial his number somehow forgetting he was at camp. He doesn't pick up. Must be asleep, I thought. I call again. He picks up and there's no sound. Hangs up after two seconds. I call again and it keeps ringing. I wonder what they're so busy with at 5 in the morning.
Call me spoilt because I know it has been only three days and it isn't as if I hadn't heard from him at all. But I'm so very sick of waiting in vain for him to do things he promised he would do.
4.12.2008
By the way ...
Cosmo sucks.
But I guess when I've already bought this month's Marie Claire and Cleo I don't have much choice. But seriously, there isn't one article in Cosmo that people actually give a shit about. This month they feature a lengthy piece on Mischa Barton's LA apartment, and an interview with Hilary Duff on her fragrances which I don't think anybody buys.
The only thing that managed to grab my attention for more than a couple of nanoseconds was a story on how often we tell LWLs (little white lies) everyday. If you think about it you'd be amused.
Most of the time I lie to avoid hurting people's feelings, or to save myself from whatever inconveniences the truth might result in.
I lied to my parents about camp. Okay, that was a pretty big lie. Normally I lie about how much I've studied (always with a guilty little squirm and then silently promising that I'll make up for the amount of study I faked, then forget about it five minutes later and log on to Youtube to watch japanese dancing clips), whether or not I had a good day, and whether or not I've been to work. The latter is because they often tell me I should cut down on my shifts. Now that I've actually cut down I suppose I can stop.
I lie to strangers. For example, after asking a gazillion questions about a skincare product and finding out that I wasn't ready to spend nearly half as much as the cost, I'd tell the assistant I'll come back. Of course I never do, but I think they know it too. I lie about the price of my clothes when I get them on super sale. I shouldn't have told you that.
I don't lie much to my friends because usually there isn't anything to hide. Sometimes when my problems are too trivial or extremely private I avoid discussing them, but I don't think this equates to lying.
I'm guilty of the occasional LWL to Jez:
But I guess when I've already bought this month's Marie Claire and Cleo I don't have much choice. But seriously, there isn't one article in Cosmo that people actually give a shit about. This month they feature a lengthy piece on Mischa Barton's LA apartment, and an interview with Hilary Duff on her fragrances which I don't think anybody buys.
The only thing that managed to grab my attention for more than a couple of nanoseconds was a story on how often we tell LWLs (little white lies) everyday. If you think about it you'd be amused.
Most of the time I lie to avoid hurting people's feelings, or to save myself from whatever inconveniences the truth might result in.
I lied to my parents about camp. Okay, that was a pretty big lie. Normally I lie about how much I've studied (always with a guilty little squirm and then silently promising that I'll make up for the amount of study I faked, then forget about it five minutes later and log on to Youtube to watch japanese dancing clips), whether or not I had a good day, and whether or not I've been to work. The latter is because they often tell me I should cut down on my shifts. Now that I've actually cut down I suppose I can stop.
I lie to strangers. For example, after asking a gazillion questions about a skincare product and finding out that I wasn't ready to spend nearly half as much as the cost, I'd tell the assistant I'll come back. Of course I never do, but I think they know it too. I lie about the price of my clothes when I get them on super sale. I shouldn't have told you that.
I don't lie much to my friends because usually there isn't anything to hide. Sometimes when my problems are too trivial or extremely private I avoid discussing them, but I don't think this equates to lying.
I'm guilty of the occasional LWL to Jez:
- "I'm fine with anything for dinner" - say pizza, and I'll say okay, but it was your idea.
- "No no, you can play WoW, I don't mind" - why don't you just marry Zokk?
- "Nothing's wrong" - can't you tell something's wrong?
- "I haven't been doing much" - I've watched "how's the pie" on Youtube about ten times, stalked your ex on Facebook, took webcam photos of myself, ran to the bathroom to check the comparative sizes of my breasts, had a cup of orange juice, plucked stray hairs from my knuckles, tried on some dresses and took a dump.
I suspect he tells me LWLs too. Like "sorry I missed your call" and "I haven't been watching porn."
Chinese Food
My parents thought we'd try out the newish seafood restaurant in Auburn. All fancy pants Chinese restaurants with names like "Gold Palace" and "Golden House" and "Restaurant of Gold" are exactly the same to me.
Ordered:
Ordered:
- Spicy eggplant and mince
- Stir-fried crocodile
- Fried king prawn balls
- Sea cucumber and snow peas
Most of it was too rich, but I suppose sort of tasty. I didn't like the crocodile. The meat was too chewy and once you manage to chew it all and swallow all the seasoning in the process you begin to be exposed to the awful taste of a reptile we definitely should not attempt to eat.
ZzzZZzZzzz...
This could only happen to me.
Ten minutes after arriving at library, I take out my books like a good girl and open up Foye's Principles of Medicinal Chemistry like a good girl.
The next thing I knew my head is down on the table. I'm drooling slightly. I have blush-marks on my scarf. I have scarf-marks on my face. And 1.5 hours had elapsed without my consent.
I dragged my arse to the nearest bus-stop (which, considering my location at the time, was not near at all) and caught it to Central station. Feeling like I couldn't possibly feel worse, I bought a copy of Cosmo and devoured it on the train. Mike called when it was at Stanmore. He said he had just finished errands and wanted to meet up. I said I have to get home to get ready for dinner. He said sorry he took so long. I said it's too late to apologise ... it's too laaaaate.
ryuhou says (5:43 PM):
u neve said it was too late
ryuhou says (5:43 PM):
u said it was fine
I come home to find our new bathtub-slash-spa installed. Apparently my dad spent the whole day on it. I was excited for about a nanosecond at the prospect of Jez coming over to take a bubble bath with me in a bathtub that for once can actually accomodate us both. Then I threw the thought out the window because my parents will have undoubtedly contaminated it before we do. Ew.
Ten minutes after arriving at library, I take out my books like a good girl and open up Foye's Principles of Medicinal Chemistry like a good girl.
The next thing I knew my head is down on the table. I'm drooling slightly. I have blush-marks on my scarf. I have scarf-marks on my face. And 1.5 hours had elapsed without my consent.
I dragged my arse to the nearest bus-stop (which, considering my location at the time, was not near at all) and caught it to Central station. Feeling like I couldn't possibly feel worse, I bought a copy of Cosmo and devoured it on the train. Mike called when it was at Stanmore. He said he had just finished errands and wanted to meet up. I said I have to get home to get ready for dinner. He said sorry he took so long. I said it's too late to apologise ... it's too laaaaate.
ryuhou says (5:43 PM):
u neve said it was too late
ryuhou says (5:43 PM):
u said it was fine
I come home to find our new bathtub-slash-spa installed. Apparently my dad spent the whole day on it. I was excited for about a nanosecond at the prospect of Jez coming over to take a bubble bath with me in a bathtub that for once can actually accomodate us both. Then I threw the thought out the window because my parents will have undoubtedly contaminated it before we do. Ew.
Tired
I'm at the med library. Sleepy. I haven't got a lot of time. Mike can have tea alone. Or I could do that thing where I tell him to meet me and then tell Karen to meet me at the same place and then not turn up and let those two at each other.
Next time I should be less ambitious and leave the house with books of total weight < 10 kg. My arms are very sore and I'm not in the mood to study even though this is bad because not studying will mean I carried those bricks for nothing.
Stopped by at work before coming to uni. I don't even remember any of my errands. Oh wait, I forgot to pay for my photos. Whoops. Debated lengthily about cleansers. I visited Beauty at Greenwood where the lady recommended Dermalogica cleansing solution at $55 for 200 mL and A set of 500 mL Matis cleanser and toner for $100. I flinched at the price. Having your weekly pay reduced from $800 to $200 hurts, a lot.
So I picked out a couple of things from work. I thought about the Jurlique Purifying Foaming Cleansing Lotion but it's much more expensive than L'Occitane and the latter is working just fine, so why waste money. I ended up buying my old L'Occitant lavender cleanser (RRP $29.95, special-price-for-Annie $18) and the Jurlique Silk Finishing Powder in Rose (RRP $43.95 - I underestimated the price in the last post, special-price-for-Annie $23). Much more worth my dough, and on top of that Mirjana insisted I take another Jurlique gift pack and a few Biore samples.
I'm spoilt.
I showed Mirjana and Ismat my filler-photos of them from Wednesday. They burst out laughing because I deliberately caught everyone by surprise and only John and Harsha looked decent in their shots. John was posing though.
I also showed them the mostly-craptasic shots of me and Jez at the Easter Show. Ismat has already met Jez (and commented that we look like a couple of 15-year-olds) but Mirjana hasn't. Jez's apparent feminity surfaces again as Mirjana takes one look and exclaims "oh Annie, he's so pretty!". I thought I was the only one who calls him "pretty". And it's only a half-compliment.
But then she said we looked so good together. I grinned and said I'll invite her to the wedding. John has asked me about that before but after I bring him my artistic interpretation of his bald majesty I don't know if he'd still want to come.
Next time I should be less ambitious and leave the house with books of total weight < 10 kg. My arms are very sore and I'm not in the mood to study even though this is bad because not studying will mean I carried those bricks for nothing.
Stopped by at work before coming to uni. I don't even remember any of my errands. Oh wait, I forgot to pay for my photos. Whoops. Debated lengthily about cleansers. I visited Beauty at Greenwood where the lady recommended Dermalogica cleansing solution at $55 for 200 mL and A set of 500 mL Matis cleanser and toner for $100. I flinched at the price. Having your weekly pay reduced from $800 to $200 hurts, a lot.
So I picked out a couple of things from work. I thought about the Jurlique Purifying Foaming Cleansing Lotion but it's much more expensive than L'Occitane and the latter is working just fine, so why waste money. I ended up buying my old L'Occitant lavender cleanser (RRP $29.95, special-price-for-Annie $18) and the Jurlique Silk Finishing Powder in Rose (RRP $43.95 - I underestimated the price in the last post, special-price-for-Annie $23). Much more worth my dough, and on top of that Mirjana insisted I take another Jurlique gift pack and a few Biore samples.
I'm spoilt.
I showed Mirjana and Ismat my filler-photos of them from Wednesday. They burst out laughing because I deliberately caught everyone by surprise and only John and Harsha looked decent in their shots. John was posing though.
I also showed them the mostly-craptasic shots of me and Jez at the Easter Show. Ismat has already met Jez (and commented that we look like a couple of 15-year-olds) but Mirjana hasn't. Jez's apparent feminity surfaces again as Mirjana takes one look and exclaims "oh Annie, he's so pretty!". I thought I was the only one who calls him "pretty". And it's only a half-compliment.
But then she said we looked so good together. I grinned and said I'll invite her to the wedding. John has asked me about that before but after I bring him my artistic interpretation of his bald majesty I don't know if he'd still want to come.
Hmm
Jez called me at 1:30 am this morning. The phone rang for about two seconds. I thought he might have pranked me to check whether I was deeply asleep, so I called back but his phone was switched off. It's still switched off now. Methinks somebody left their charger at home (despite being reminded by me to bring it). Either that or there aren't any power-points. But that's ridiculous.
I must say that it's amusing and at the same time irritating that Jez still hasn't managed to remember my mobile number. Granted, I've changed it a couple of times, but whatever.
Lots to do today. My facewash is running out. Deciding between continuing L'Occitane, switching to Jurlique, or Dermalogica. L'Occitane is working fine, but we'll see.
Need to pay for the photos I picked up yesterday. Ting was a noobcake and somehow managed to leave one item out of the total. While I'm there I guess I'll be checking out the cleansers.
Also should visit Tiffany & Co. to finally have my ring fixed, although I'm not sure how much this will cost.
I don't know when Bao will be at the library but I'll have to spend a few hours there doing my SDL work and PK. Need to be back by 5:00 pm, however, to go out for dinner with the family for dad's 51st.
Mike said he'll be at the city later so we can have "tea". I don't know where Karen is today but I'm thinking I'll call her out and surprise both of them with each other.
Did I mention they haven't been talking for months? If I did then the above paragraph might make more sense.
I must say that it's amusing and at the same time irritating that Jez still hasn't managed to remember my mobile number. Granted, I've changed it a couple of times, but whatever.
Lots to do today. My facewash is running out. Deciding between continuing L'Occitane, switching to Jurlique, or Dermalogica. L'Occitane is working fine, but we'll see.
Need to pay for the photos I picked up yesterday. Ting was a noobcake and somehow managed to leave one item out of the total. While I'm there I guess I'll be checking out the cleansers.
Also should visit Tiffany & Co. to finally have my ring fixed, although I'm not sure how much this will cost.
I don't know when Bao will be at the library but I'll have to spend a few hours there doing my SDL work and PK. Need to be back by 5:00 pm, however, to go out for dinner with the family for dad's 51st.
Mike said he'll be at the city later so we can have "tea". I don't know where Karen is today but I'm thinking I'll call her out and surprise both of them with each other.
Did I mention they haven't been talking for months? If I did then the above paragraph might make more sense.
4.11.2008
New
I've been trying out some new products lately.
Dr. LeWinn's Private Formula PURESSENCE Day & Night fluid
Light but not watery like other anti-greasing products. Feels moisturising on skin, but without shininess or exacerbated oiliness. Really awesome smell. Makes skin appear smoother. Contains venuceane for prevention of premature ageing, Perfection Peptide P3, pearl and plant extract for blemishes. RRP $49.95 for 50 mL, but of course I got it for free.
Jurlique Finishing Powder in Rose
Translucent powder to mattify oily skin. The best thing about this is the smell. Yummy like all Jurlique rose products. Gets rid of shininess instantly and keeps it away. Whitens skin slightly, if you're into that sort of thing. I'm not, because I'm already a snowflake. Perfect for mid-afternoon oily skin or after the long walk from Redfern to Bosch. RRP $39.95 each. I haven't bought one yet. I've deliberately marked the tester applicator with concealer to prevent customers from using it. The powder comes in citrus and lavender as well, but rose kicks butt.
APIVITA Express Skin Renewal Night Mask With Carrot
I've got it on at the moment. This is an overnight mask so I'll have to wait until tomorrow morning for results. This is another gob-smackingly delicious smelling product. It has the texture of a moisturiser, but less viscuous. Different from other masks in that it doesn't dry. The APIVITA rep explained that aside from the brown and pink mud masks that withdraw impurities, all other Express masks are nutricious and soak into the skin. Like mine is doing right now. He also told us that this mask is one of the only two that provide almost instataneous results, with skin glowing the next morning. Let's hope so. It contains some natural ingredients that explain the price: instead of water being the solvent as per usual, the masks uses camelia sinensis green tea leaf aqueous infusion; theobroma cacao butter; shea butter; wheat protein; carrot root extract; and olive. On the other hand it also contains a whole bunch of synthesised stuff. RRP $8 for two sample packs. Not too bad but imagine the price of a bottle at that rate.
John Freida Frizz-Ease Moisture Barrier Firm-Hold Hair Spray
Possibly the best hairspray I've tried yet. No uber-strong alcohol fumes. Gentle spray power. Settles into hair quickly and gives great hold in less than two seconds. Hair can become a little dry-looking afterwards, but this can be avoided by holding the can further away when spraying. RRP $8 for 56 g can.
John Freida Shine Shock Leave-On Perfecting Glosser
I don't know if this is something that happens only to me, but my hair doesn't take to leave-on products very well. It looks its best when whatever I put in it gets rinsed out. So while this sexy-looking serum seemed promising as I squeezed it into my hair, the results weren't so attractive. I applied the glosser after showering at 8:30 am. By 1:00 pm my hair was still not dry. I brushed it and was horrified to find that the texture was as if I had been rubbing vegetable oil into it - except without any sign of glossiness. Imagine that. Dull and oily. Is that even possible? I think the RRP was around $18. I used sample packs.
Blackmores Natural E Capsules 100 IU
My skin has two problems. Time-of-the-month blemish (minor) and post-breakout pigmentation from as early as a year ago (major). Nothing a dab of concealer wouldn't take care of, but I'd rather not. I used to use Bio-Oil on some light pigmentation, but back then it wasn't really a problem. Bio-Oil, however, worked quite well on my legs in getting rid of marks due to eczema. As I haven't any Bio-Oil on hand and can't be bothered buying any; and one of its main ingredients is vitamin E, I've started applying vitamin E capsules topically. One capsule lasts me about a week seeing as it's quite greasy and I need to be careful not to apply too much and cause more breakouts. So far it has lightened those marks a little. I really hate long-term treatments. RRP $7.95 for 42 capsules.
Dr. LeWinn's Private Formula PURESSENCE Day & Night fluid
Light but not watery like other anti-greasing products. Feels moisturising on skin, but without shininess or exacerbated oiliness. Really awesome smell. Makes skin appear smoother. Contains venuceane for prevention of premature ageing, Perfection Peptide P3, pearl and plant extract for blemishes. RRP $49.95 for 50 mL, but of course I got it for free.
Jurlique Finishing Powder in Rose
Translucent powder to mattify oily skin. The best thing about this is the smell. Yummy like all Jurlique rose products. Gets rid of shininess instantly and keeps it away. Whitens skin slightly, if you're into that sort of thing. I'm not, because I'm already a snowflake. Perfect for mid-afternoon oily skin or after the long walk from Redfern to Bosch. RRP $39.95 each. I haven't bought one yet. I've deliberately marked the tester applicator with concealer to prevent customers from using it. The powder comes in citrus and lavender as well, but rose kicks butt.
APIVITA Express Skin Renewal Night Mask With Carrot
I've got it on at the moment. This is an overnight mask so I'll have to wait until tomorrow morning for results. This is another gob-smackingly delicious smelling product. It has the texture of a moisturiser, but less viscuous. Different from other masks in that it doesn't dry. The APIVITA rep explained that aside from the brown and pink mud masks that withdraw impurities, all other Express masks are nutricious and soak into the skin. Like mine is doing right now. He also told us that this mask is one of the only two that provide almost instataneous results, with skin glowing the next morning. Let's hope so. It contains some natural ingredients that explain the price: instead of water being the solvent as per usual, the masks uses camelia sinensis green tea leaf aqueous infusion; theobroma cacao butter; shea butter; wheat protein; carrot root extract; and olive. On the other hand it also contains a whole bunch of synthesised stuff. RRP $8 for two sample packs. Not too bad but imagine the price of a bottle at that rate.
John Freida Frizz-Ease Moisture Barrier Firm-Hold Hair Spray
Possibly the best hairspray I've tried yet. No uber-strong alcohol fumes. Gentle spray power. Settles into hair quickly and gives great hold in less than two seconds. Hair can become a little dry-looking afterwards, but this can be avoided by holding the can further away when spraying. RRP $8 for 56 g can.
John Freida Shine Shock Leave-On Perfecting Glosser
I don't know if this is something that happens only to me, but my hair doesn't take to leave-on products very well. It looks its best when whatever I put in it gets rinsed out. So while this sexy-looking serum seemed promising as I squeezed it into my hair, the results weren't so attractive. I applied the glosser after showering at 8:30 am. By 1:00 pm my hair was still not dry. I brushed it and was horrified to find that the texture was as if I had been rubbing vegetable oil into it - except without any sign of glossiness. Imagine that. Dull and oily. Is that even possible? I think the RRP was around $18. I used sample packs.
Blackmores Natural E Capsules 100 IU
My skin has two problems. Time-of-the-month blemish (minor) and post-breakout pigmentation from as early as a year ago (major). Nothing a dab of concealer wouldn't take care of, but I'd rather not. I used to use Bio-Oil on some light pigmentation, but back then it wasn't really a problem. Bio-Oil, however, worked quite well on my legs in getting rid of marks due to eczema. As I haven't any Bio-Oil on hand and can't be bothered buying any; and one of its main ingredients is vitamin E, I've started applying vitamin E capsules topically. One capsule lasts me about a week seeing as it's quite greasy and I need to be careful not to apply too much and cause more breakouts. So far it has lightened those marks a little. I really hate long-term treatments. RRP $7.95 for 42 capsules.
House
In one season 2 episode, a man collapsed in a meeting at a pharmaceutical company and somebody asked "is anybody actually a doctor here?"
Har har har.
Har har har.
Easter Show
While picking up cake and pills from Greenwood I checked whether my photos have been done. They have.
About half of the film was filled with Easter Show pictures. There was one decent photo. The rest were too random and/or too up-close (it was a disposable), most of them showing either Jez or me looking like hell after a crazy ride. Then the other half of the film was just fillers I took at work since there were still so many shots left. Possibly more boring than carpet samples.
In other news Jez is a busy bee. He managed to spare two minutes to call me and I could hear Ken yelling "one, two, one, two, one, two ..." in the background.
About half of the film was filled with Easter Show pictures. There was one decent photo. The rest were too random and/or too up-close (it was a disposable), most of them showing either Jez or me looking like hell after a crazy ride. Then the other half of the film was just fillers I took at work since there were still so many shots left. Possibly more boring than carpet samples.
In other news Jez is a busy bee. He managed to spare two minutes to call me and I could hear Ken yelling "one, two, one, two, one, two ..." in the background.
51
My dad turns 51 today.
I suppose it's preferable for Jez to be away this weekend than another.
He probably hasn't even left Sydney yet, but in my mind it has already been over a day. It's kind of funny because I'm loving all the time I'm having to myself, and as I've taken one extra day off work I now have the freedom to go anywhere with anyone after uni, I'm doing more miscellaneous things that I normally never get to do ... I'd almost say that I'm happier, except once I come home I feel awfully empty.
I've bought something that fills the gap. No, it's not clothes, and I'd love to go out on a reckless shopping spree today but I've got a $40 cake on order at Red Mango and I'm completely out of pills. You know in the UK they're free.
I suppose it's preferable for Jez to be away this weekend than another.
He probably hasn't even left Sydney yet, but in my mind it has already been over a day. It's kind of funny because I'm loving all the time I'm having to myself, and as I've taken one extra day off work I now have the freedom to go anywhere with anyone after uni, I'm doing more miscellaneous things that I normally never get to do ... I'd almost say that I'm happier, except once I come home I feel awfully empty.
I've bought something that fills the gap. No, it's not clothes, and I'd love to go out on a reckless shopping spree today but I've got a $40 cake on order at Red Mango and I'm completely out of pills. You know in the UK they're free.
4.10.2008
Blogcrazysh
After Jez left I cleaned the study, stuffed my lecture notes and textbooks into the bottom drawer, watched House, read old chat logs, sobbed into a tissue, made a new ringtone, cleaned up unused programs on the computer, blogged three times, four counting this one, and completely neglected our pharmacology lab report.
Please come home soon baby. Or else I'm going to fail.
I've already made plans with Jenny and Bao to med-library it over the weekend.
Anyway, while reading some of Jez's chat logs I discovered the reason for this:
"Sometimes he half-arsedly offers, then steps aside and lets me at it before I even open my mouth to argue." - Hungry, o1.26.o8
On the 28th of April, 2007, I had said to Jez over MSN: "if I had a bf who insisted on paying for everything, I'd still offer. but if he refuses twice, then I'll stop."
We have a smarty pants here.
Please come home soon baby. Or else I'm going to fail.
I've already made plans with Jenny and Bao to med-library it over the weekend.
Anyway, while reading some of Jez's chat logs I discovered the reason for this:
"Sometimes he half-arsedly offers, then steps aside and lets me at it before I even open my mouth to argue." - Hungry, o1.26.o8
On the 28th of April, 2007, I had said to Jez over MSN: "if I had a bf who insisted on paying for everything, I'd still offer. but if he refuses twice, then I'll stop."
We have a smarty pants here.
Yoza: Rofl wtf.
Yoza: Jez grew a moustache?
Annie: look at it
Annie: as if he could grow one like that
Yoza: I dunno.
Yoza: It's like
Yoza: tiny pic
Yoza: as if look closely
Yoza: I just see squigglies.
Yoza: and it's black
Yoza: and your legs aren't near his face
Yoza: so I assume moustache
Yoza: otherwise i'd assume
Yoza: SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET KIWWWIS
Annie: uh huh
Annie: because my pubes look like jeeves' moustache.
Yoza: Jez grew a moustache?
Annie: look at it
Annie: as if he could grow one like that
Yoza: I dunno.
Yoza: It's like
Yoza: tiny pic
Yoza: as if look closely
Yoza: I just see squigglies.
Yoza: and it's black
Yoza: and your legs aren't near his face
Yoza: so I assume moustache
Yoza: otherwise i'd assume
Yoza: SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET KIWWWIS
Annie: uh huh
Annie: because my pubes look like jeeves' moustache.
Day Off
The PK quiz was a bit of a wake-up call. Nevertheless it didn't stop Jenny and me from spending the rest of the day in full-blast holiday mode.
After going to the city for takoyachi and a present for Victor's grandmother, we spent the afternoon attending to gifts for Victor and Jez. It started out as something I wanted to buy for myself, but somehow grew to what I thought was a decent idea for a gift.
(I just realised that while I was typing the above the ends of my hair were soaking in a bowl of soup)
It's been awhile since the two of us shopped, window or actual. While walking around Burwood Jenny suddenly realised how much money goes into our clothing funds. Think now and think high school.
High school: Jeans averaged $30 per pair.
Now: Jeans under $200 are cheap.
High school: $100 funds a shopping spree.
Now: $100 is often insufficient for one item.
High school: Tops shouldn't exceed $50.
Now: Tops shouldn't exceed $100 ... unless they're really pretty.
High school: Shoes range from $20-$50. Sneakers excluded.
Now: Heels range from $100-$200. Boots can go quite high depending on quality. Flats from $50-$100. Emergency shoes when only other option is to go barefoot from $20-$50. Sneakers, what sneakers?
High school: One bag for school, one bag for weekends. Price around $30.
Now: Luckily I'm not a bag extremist and spend on average $250 on good bags.
High school: Most frequented store: Valleygirl.
Now: Witchery.
Speaking of the past, while on the escalators to the third floor we bumped into none other than Eddie and Mrs Eddie. They didn't take notice of us and I was keen on avoiding awkwarding ourselves. I was amused to see that he was donning the Giordano sweater I spent some painstaking thirty minutes picking out from a snobby Shang department store. For a brief second I wondered why he hadn't thrown it out, passed it on to Allen (who was always sneaking clothes out of his wardrobe anyway) or stashed it away, then with a jealous twitch I remembered Jez's "I love vodka" tee.
Would you still wear clothes that your ex bought you? Forget clothes, anything really, anything practical. A pencil case, a wallet, a belt, a watch. Jewellery is probably out of the question for most.
I don't actually have any relics-of-the-past clothing. Possibly because I prefer buying my own clothes. I'm still thinking hard and apart from the few bits and pieces that were discarded long before the relationship was, my mind comes to a blank. I do still own the bracelet that my mother didn't let me throw away, but at the moment I haven't much clue on its whereabouts.
If I did have relics, would I wear them? No. Sometimes I think my memory is too clear for my own good. When I'm wearing my indigo BL jeans I can still almost see the patch where I dropped a slice of home-made pizza, topping side down, on my thighs on the second day after purchase. And that's stuff I bought with my own money, during my own time.
My parents have a strange concept of ex-etiquette. They love Jez. Whenever I do anything inappropriate (like speaking to a boy on the phone), it's "what would Jeremy think?". They tell me how mature he is. How well-behaved. How polite. How considerate. I sometimes want to answer back and ask them how they could know all of this when he spends an average of two hours per month in their presence. They're probably also unaware of the number of rooms in their house in which we've had sex.
One time when my dad found a few photos of Eddie and me on my computer, he told me to delete them. What would Jeremy think? My mum on the other hand wanted to pretend that the relationship never existed. Now that's all well and good ... but this is the same woman who salvaged my ID bracelet. And the same man who - well this gets a little creepy - took back a little wad of drawings I made of Eddie and me after I threw them out ... and kept them in the bottom drawer of his bedside cabinet. I would have never known this if I hadn't been rummaging around pointlessly two mornings ago, waiting for my tanning lotion to dry.
So yeah, I'm a bit confused. Forget or not to forget?
After going to the city for takoyachi and a present for Victor's grandmother, we spent the afternoon attending to gifts for Victor and Jez. It started out as something I wanted to buy for myself, but somehow grew to what I thought was a decent idea for a gift.
(I just realised that while I was typing the above the ends of my hair were soaking in a bowl of soup)
It's been awhile since the two of us shopped, window or actual. While walking around Burwood Jenny suddenly realised how much money goes into our clothing funds. Think now and think high school.
High school: Jeans averaged $30 per pair.
Now: Jeans under $200 are cheap.
High school: $100 funds a shopping spree.
Now: $100 is often insufficient for one item.
High school: Tops shouldn't exceed $50.
Now: Tops shouldn't exceed $100 ... unless they're really pretty.
High school: Shoes range from $20-$50. Sneakers excluded.
Now: Heels range from $100-$200. Boots can go quite high depending on quality. Flats from $50-$100. Emergency shoes when only other option is to go barefoot from $20-$50. Sneakers, what sneakers?
High school: One bag for school, one bag for weekends. Price around $30.
Now: Luckily I'm not a bag extremist and spend on average $250 on good bags.
High school: Most frequented store: Valleygirl.
Now: Witchery.
Speaking of the past, while on the escalators to the third floor we bumped into none other than Eddie and Mrs Eddie. They didn't take notice of us and I was keen on avoiding awkwarding ourselves. I was amused to see that he was donning the Giordano sweater I spent some painstaking thirty minutes picking out from a snobby Shang department store. For a brief second I wondered why he hadn't thrown it out, passed it on to Allen (who was always sneaking clothes out of his wardrobe anyway) or stashed it away, then with a jealous twitch I remembered Jez's "I love vodka" tee.
Would you still wear clothes that your ex bought you? Forget clothes, anything really, anything practical. A pencil case, a wallet, a belt, a watch. Jewellery is probably out of the question for most.
I don't actually have any relics-of-the-past clothing. Possibly because I prefer buying my own clothes. I'm still thinking hard and apart from the few bits and pieces that were discarded long before the relationship was, my mind comes to a blank. I do still own the bracelet that my mother didn't let me throw away, but at the moment I haven't much clue on its whereabouts.
If I did have relics, would I wear them? No. Sometimes I think my memory is too clear for my own good. When I'm wearing my indigo BL jeans I can still almost see the patch where I dropped a slice of home-made pizza, topping side down, on my thighs on the second day after purchase. And that's stuff I bought with my own money, during my own time.
My parents have a strange concept of ex-etiquette. They love Jez. Whenever I do anything inappropriate (like speaking to a boy on the phone), it's "what would Jeremy think?". They tell me how mature he is. How well-behaved. How polite. How considerate. I sometimes want to answer back and ask them how they could know all of this when he spends an average of two hours per month in their presence. They're probably also unaware of the number of rooms in their house in which we've had sex.
One time when my dad found a few photos of Eddie and me on my computer, he told me to delete them. What would Jeremy think? My mum on the other hand wanted to pretend that the relationship never existed. Now that's all well and good ... but this is the same woman who salvaged my ID bracelet. And the same man who - well this gets a little creepy - took back a little wad of drawings I made of Eddie and me after I threw them out ... and kept them in the bottom drawer of his bedside cabinet. I would have never known this if I hadn't been rummaging around pointlessly two mornings ago, waiting for my tanning lotion to dry.
So yeah, I'm a bit confused. Forget or not to forget?
Kazza Spazza
Karen is still blogging. And I don't know why I'm doing the same twenty minutes before I have to leave to catch my PK quiz.
She's still taking photos of everything that stays still long enough. I found some recent photos of the Alpha girls at K. Sharon and Colleen look lovely. Nostalgia.
It was fun, working with girls more or less my age. Ismat only has three years on me but for all I can tell she could be in her thirties. I miss some aspects of Alpha. Mainly those that didn't involve working. Like flailing my arms with Sibel to Mika. Like sharing sexy stories with Sevil, even though I really probably shouldn't have. Like sitting in the dispensary with Karen, perving on Adam Levine in M5 videos. Like planning and failing diets with Sibel, who one day ate nothing but fruit and the next shared with me a family-size packet of cookies.
Greenwood is fun in its own way. When the Apivita rep was buying hot chocolates for me and Glenda before beginning our training, Glenda told me about Ting, whose handbag was snatched from under the door of her toilet cubicle, and by the time she pulled her panties on and chased after the culprit they were already gone. I exclaimed that if it happened to me, I'd run out in my bare arse because two seconds' worth of dignity doesn't compensate for losing $500 worth of stuff. Glenda then said "what if you're in the middle of something where you can't just get up and run after them?". We paused for two seconds to visualise this, and burst out laughing.
And now this is completely irrelevant but I suddenly remembered something Jez had said to me a little while ago. That we fit together like corresponding puzzle pieces.
I wonder if he has ever said this to anybody else. Or thought of saying it. Because ... we kind of think alike ...
She's still taking photos of everything that stays still long enough. I found some recent photos of the Alpha girls at K. Sharon and Colleen look lovely. Nostalgia.
It was fun, working with girls more or less my age. Ismat only has three years on me but for all I can tell she could be in her thirties. I miss some aspects of Alpha. Mainly those that didn't involve working. Like flailing my arms with Sibel to Mika. Like sharing sexy stories with Sevil, even though I really probably shouldn't have. Like sitting in the dispensary with Karen, perving on Adam Levine in M5 videos. Like planning and failing diets with Sibel, who one day ate nothing but fruit and the next shared with me a family-size packet of cookies.
Greenwood is fun in its own way. When the Apivita rep was buying hot chocolates for me and Glenda before beginning our training, Glenda told me about Ting, whose handbag was snatched from under the door of her toilet cubicle, and by the time she pulled her panties on and chased after the culprit they were already gone. I exclaimed that if it happened to me, I'd run out in my bare arse because two seconds' worth of dignity doesn't compensate for losing $500 worth of stuff. Glenda then said "what if you're in the middle of something where you can't just get up and run after them?". We paused for two seconds to visualise this, and burst out laughing.
And now this is completely irrelevant but I suddenly remembered something Jez had said to me a little while ago. That we fit together like corresponding puzzle pieces.
I wonder if he has ever said this to anybody else. Or thought of saying it. Because ... we kind of think alike ...
4.09.2008
Vain
I'm a vain creature. I can never have enough photos of myself. After a short hiatus from the camera I've pulled it out once again for opportunities to pose for no more special an occasion than good lighting.
After creating my new folder for team Jez and Annie I perused the older files. Unfortunately I have very few photos dated more than a year old due to computer formatting and certain people requesting certain photos be deleted etc. And oh how I had listened to them.
However, one folder that carries photos from way back during the HSC to the present is My Logitech Pictures - from the webcam!
Oh the phases. And note that I'm always posing. Posing. Posing ...
The school-attire phase. Blue-eyeliner phase 1. Eyeliner-flick phase. Black hair phase. Nicole Ritchie wannabe phase. Oh, here's the awful hair (and tan - although I'm still not quite over self-tanning, but if you were pasty and cursed with the inability to darken by natural means, you'd L'Oreal it, too).
Again, I hate the way my mother was right when she told me that most of the above were so not hot.
After creating my new folder for team Jez and Annie I perused the older files. Unfortunately I have very few photos dated more than a year old due to computer formatting and certain people requesting certain photos be deleted etc. And oh how I had listened to them.
However, one folder that carries photos from way back during the HSC to the present is My Logitech Pictures - from the webcam!
Oh the phases. And note that I'm always posing. Posing. Posing ...
The school-attire phase. Blue-eyeliner phase 1. Eyeliner-flick phase. Black hair phase. Nicole Ritchie wannabe phase. Oh, here's the awful hair (and tan - although I'm still not quite over self-tanning, but if you were pasty and cursed with the inability to darken by natural means, you'd L'Oreal it, too).
Again, I hate the way my mother was right when she told me that most of the above were so not hot.
Hi
I'm at Jez's place again. We have a PK quiz tomorrow and I'm not prepared. I haven't studied today and I don't plan to. Because see, tonight is going to be my last night with Jez ...
... until Sunday.
And the fact that tomorrow's quiz is worth 0% is besides the point.
... until Sunday.
And the fact that tomorrow's quiz is worth 0% is besides the point.
4.07.2008
For what it's worth
I'll skip the boring bit about where this idea sprouted from, but apparently being grateful for the little things from day to day can have positive effects on your personal wellbeing. This makes sense if you're like me, and:
- Are constantly being told "you don't know how lucky you are"
- Never pause to consider what others have done for you
- Forget somebody as soon as they've given you what you want
- Feel general dissatisfaction although no reasons can be identified
The idea is for you to jot down at the end of each day three to five things that you're thankful for and why. I thought I'd take it on.
- EJ for volunteering to take on editing and referencing solo, so that Mylinh, Jenny and I could write up our lab discussion together
- My dad for picking me up from the station
- The med library's printers for working properly when I printed my notes this morning (they've been acting up for awhile)
- Jez for giving me his black marker I used to write up my SDL answers
I feel very slightly happier. Or do I? It's probably just placebo. Mylinh exclaimed that after taking her "painkiller" during lab today she hardly felt any pain as she dipped her arm into the icy water for the second time, managing to keep it there for a whole minute longer than the first. Then she asked the demonstrator which treatment she received and was told that her tablet was in fact, lactose.
Pain Lab
This afternoon we had the pharmacology analgesia prac.
The aim of the experiment was to evaluate the efficacy of two types of analgesics - paracetamol and paracetamol with codeine - in reducing ischaemic and temperature-moderated pain.
An unfortunate sacrifice on the class' behalf was deliberate and repeated activation of ascending pathways. We immersed our arms into bucketfuls of slushy ice; and constricted our biceps to painfully exercise them in the absence of oxygen.
By unbelievable luck, not only did Jenny, Mylinh and me end up in the same lab, we were also in the same group, along with three other girls (one of them very, very talkative and beginning to border annoying, but more on that later).
Now, you might scoff at the ice-bucket exercise (especially if you have a penis and believe you are immune to sub-zero temperatures and pretty much everything else) but it's hella cold. I couldn't keep my arm in there for more than a minute. The ischaemic pain, however, didn't exist. Everyone around me were rating their level of pain "moderate" and "severe" but I wasn't bothered by much else than the fact that my hand was becoming increasingly tired from squeezing the rubber bulb as instructed.
There's something about Mylinh and me and labs. We're always the first to finish. Today was no exception. We left the lab 1.5 hours early.
Jenny and I bummed around Market City for a short while before meeting Victor and Jez, who was supposed to finish work at 5 pm in order to catch his 6 pm lecture but came out 20 minutes late. I wasn't happy.
So here I am. We just had a dinner of sushi and he's run off to the shower, probably meticulously cleaning his penis.
The aim of the experiment was to evaluate the efficacy of two types of analgesics - paracetamol and paracetamol with codeine - in reducing ischaemic and temperature-moderated pain.
An unfortunate sacrifice on the class' behalf was deliberate and repeated activation of ascending pathways. We immersed our arms into bucketfuls of slushy ice; and constricted our biceps to painfully exercise them in the absence of oxygen.
By unbelievable luck, not only did Jenny, Mylinh and me end up in the same lab, we were also in the same group, along with three other girls (one of them very, very talkative and beginning to border annoying, but more on that later).
Now, you might scoff at the ice-bucket exercise (especially if you have a penis and believe you are immune to sub-zero temperatures and pretty much everything else) but it's hella cold. I couldn't keep my arm in there for more than a minute. The ischaemic pain, however, didn't exist. Everyone around me were rating their level of pain "moderate" and "severe" but I wasn't bothered by much else than the fact that my hand was becoming increasingly tired from squeezing the rubber bulb as instructed.
There's something about Mylinh and me and labs. We're always the first to finish. Today was no exception. We left the lab 1.5 hours early.
Jenny and I bummed around Market City for a short while before meeting Victor and Jez, who was supposed to finish work at 5 pm in order to catch his 6 pm lecture but came out 20 minutes late. I wasn't happy.
So here I am. We just had a dinner of sushi and he's run off to the shower, probably meticulously cleaning his penis.
4.06.2008
All Fall Down
Perusing Sunday newspapers over lunch, I came across an article on reverse-etiquette school - because according to Jo Ellen Gryzb, people are becoming too nice for their own good.
Gryzb goes a bit nuts in telling people to practise thinking negative thoughts about their friends and colleagues; pretend to be too busy for others when they're not; make unwanted purchases to practise returning them, and various other rather effort-consuming and unnecessarily bitchy pastimes.
Nevertheless, I felt guilty squirms as I read about people who are incapable of saying "no", people who are stressed about long hours of work that they could have chosen to avoid but didn't because they wanted to be "nice", people who become stuck in relationships because they are too afraid of hurting the other by ending them.
I fall neatly into all three categories. The last one does not relate to Jez.
So I thought I'd start exercising some dormant assertiveness, starting by rejecting a marriage proposal from a grey-haired pirate at the bus-stop.
Then telling my dad over the phone that Jez will be driving me home before consulting him.
When I came home and hopped onto the computer I had a minor disagreement with Yoza. Minor it may be but I disagree with him like I disagree with leaving the banana-man's mailbox alone (that's a story for another day).
It began by Yoza asking me what our (Jez and I) song was. I told him Hands Down by Dashboard Confessional. He remarked that it was unoriginal. I wondered why it mattered.
Quite apart from everything else, I know about two people who just know the song, let alone assign it to their relationship. Maybe my crowd isn't into emo-screamo, maybe not. Who cares.
To me, it's another futile struggle to be different for the sake of being different. Realistically, we're all individuals. But the world's too big for anyone to boast complete exterior individuality - music, clothes, whatever. Hasn't stopped anyone from trying though. See emos.
I don't know what tickles your pickle, but to me a "song" isn't a "song" if it's handpicked after careful thought. My "songs" have always been spontaneous. I never remember how they came about, but they're just there, whether we had listened to them on some special occasion, or grinded against each other in a club to it, or relate to it because it describes us or something we've done together to a tee.
So what I'm wondering is what satisfaction people get from picking a supposedly-original tune, other than knowing that they're probably one of the few couples in the world to have it? It doesn't seem to reflect themselves, but reflects instead just how they relate to everyone else. Do you still smile involuntarily everytime you hear it, knowing for what reasons you picked it in the first place?
Don't get me wrong, I can see the awesomeness of sharing something that (you think) nobody else has. But I'd much rather let All My Life set my gastrointestinal butterflies fluttering than listen to Evan & Jaron (for lack of better example), smug only because it makes the two of us separate from the mainstream world.
I've tried to replace a "song" once. It couldn't be done. In the end I hated the original "song" with a passion, but as the relationship disintegrated I suppose that's only expected.
I have a funny attachment to my "songs", which sometimes are unfortunate (Ne-yo) and most well-known. Apart from Dashboard Jez and I have a few others, some are crazily-common, but see, what we get out of listening to them is hella different from you.
It doesn't bother me how many couples in the world are rubbing their noses together to the same tune, just like it doesn't bother me how many couples can't live without calling each other every night, just like it doesn't bother me how many couples are looking forward to crawling under heated blankets in Winter like some Ronnie Day song that who knows how many couples have adopted. We have other ways to define us.
Gryzb goes a bit nuts in telling people to practise thinking negative thoughts about their friends and colleagues; pretend to be too busy for others when they're not; make unwanted purchases to practise returning them, and various other rather effort-consuming and unnecessarily bitchy pastimes.
Nevertheless, I felt guilty squirms as I read about people who are incapable of saying "no", people who are stressed about long hours of work that they could have chosen to avoid but didn't because they wanted to be "nice", people who become stuck in relationships because they are too afraid of hurting the other by ending them.
I fall neatly into all three categories. The last one does not relate to Jez.
So I thought I'd start exercising some dormant assertiveness, starting by rejecting a marriage proposal from a grey-haired pirate at the bus-stop.
Then telling my dad over the phone that Jez will be driving me home before consulting him.
When I came home and hopped onto the computer I had a minor disagreement with Yoza. Minor it may be but I disagree with him like I disagree with leaving the banana-man's mailbox alone (that's a story for another day).
It began by Yoza asking me what our (Jez and I) song was. I told him Hands Down by Dashboard Confessional. He remarked that it was unoriginal. I wondered why it mattered.
Quite apart from everything else, I know about two people who just know the song, let alone assign it to their relationship. Maybe my crowd isn't into emo-screamo, maybe not. Who cares.
To me, it's another futile struggle to be different for the sake of being different. Realistically, we're all individuals. But the world's too big for anyone to boast complete exterior individuality - music, clothes, whatever. Hasn't stopped anyone from trying though. See emos.
I don't know what tickles your pickle, but to me a "song" isn't a "song" if it's handpicked after careful thought. My "songs" have always been spontaneous. I never remember how they came about, but they're just there, whether we had listened to them on some special occasion, or grinded against each other in a club to it, or relate to it because it describes us or something we've done together to a tee.
So what I'm wondering is what satisfaction people get from picking a supposedly-original tune, other than knowing that they're probably one of the few couples in the world to have it? It doesn't seem to reflect themselves, but reflects instead just how they relate to everyone else. Do you still smile involuntarily everytime you hear it, knowing for what reasons you picked it in the first place?
Don't get me wrong, I can see the awesomeness of sharing something that (you think) nobody else has. But I'd much rather let All My Life set my gastrointestinal butterflies fluttering than listen to Evan & Jaron (for lack of better example), smug only because it makes the two of us separate from the mainstream world.
I've tried to replace a "song" once. It couldn't be done. In the end I hated the original "song" with a passion, but as the relationship disintegrated I suppose that's only expected.
I have a funny attachment to my "songs", which sometimes are unfortunate (Ne-yo) and most well-known. Apart from Dashboard Jez and I have a few others, some are crazily-common, but see, what we get out of listening to them is hella different from you.
It doesn't bother me how many couples in the world are rubbing their noses together to the same tune, just like it doesn't bother me how many couples can't live without calling each other every night, just like it doesn't bother me how many couples are looking forward to crawling under heated blankets in Winter like some Ronnie Day song that who knows how many couples have adopted. We have other ways to define us.
Bloody Hell
No pun intended, but I found out about 30 minutes ago that I have my periods. And I haven't done anything about it until now, because everyone seems determined to make me bleed through my jeans by flooding in at the same time with two hundred scripts each. I ducked into the toilet to check how bad it was and Eugene wasn't impressed that I disappeared when all hell broke loose. I told him it was an emergency.
I'm sorry if I'm too graphic, but if you're bleeding out of your crotch you wouldn't care, either.
I'm sorry if I'm too graphic, but if you're bleeding out of your crotch you wouldn't care, either.
4.05.2008
Adam and Ryan
Previously known to us as "whiny" or "the guy in the vest", we found out only this morning that the lead singer and pianist of One Republic is called Ryan Tedder.
We arrived at Acer Arena shortly after One Republic started playing. Because I booked the tickets quite late we were seated high above the stage, where it was impossible to distinguish the performers by face. On the feebly bright side, at least we could see them.
When Jez has uploaded photos and videos I'll probably add them to this post but rest assured that from our view, they're not even youtube-worthy.
During One Republic I wished we could have sat with my friends so that Alan and I could do the zomg-it's-that-song face that Jez and I made during Maroon 5 whenever a new song started. Ryan sounded pretty much exactly the same live and on record, and on multiple occasions threw his piano stool violently when he became too passionate mid-song. Overall they were awesome.
Adam Levine was tall and lanky. I had my little fan-girl excitement-panic when they walked onto stage. He, too, sounded exactly like he does on record. They went through some old songs and some new, and Jez and I were disappointed that Kiwi was left out, 'cause we planned to call Yoza during it.
We figured by the end of it that Adam was a bit gay and very sexual. He always carried his guitar in a way that when he strummed the strings his hand would fall onto his crotch had there been no instrument between them. He also skipped occasionally. And thrusted. I didn't mind seeing as it was him, but I was forced to admit that the level of homosexuality present in that man was a tad higher than your average bloke.
All in all, it was well worth the $200.
We arrived at Acer Arena shortly after One Republic started playing. Because I booked the tickets quite late we were seated high above the stage, where it was impossible to distinguish the performers by face. On the feebly bright side, at least we could see them.
When Jez has uploaded photos and videos I'll probably add them to this post but rest assured that from our view, they're not even youtube-worthy.
During One Republic I wished we could have sat with my friends so that Alan and I could do the zomg-it's-that-song face that Jez and I made during Maroon 5 whenever a new song started. Ryan sounded pretty much exactly the same live and on record, and on multiple occasions threw his piano stool violently when he became too passionate mid-song. Overall they were awesome.
Adam Levine was tall and lanky. I had my little fan-girl excitement-panic when they walked onto stage. He, too, sounded exactly like he does on record. They went through some old songs and some new, and Jez and I were disappointed that Kiwi was left out, 'cause we planned to call Yoza during it.
We figured by the end of it that Adam was a bit gay and very sexual. He always carried his guitar in a way that when he strummed the strings his hand would fall onto his crotch had there been no instrument between them. He also skipped occasionally. And thrusted. I didn't mind seeing as it was him, but I was forced to admit that the level of homosexuality present in that man was a tad higher than your average bloke.
All in all, it was well worth the $200.
Advice!
7 relationship quirks you probably shouldn't pick up from me.
I'm idealistic - having spent too much time watching fairytales when I was a little kid (trying to learn English from them) I often confused real life with them. Anyway, thankfully this has subsided somewhat after I learnt from cringingly awful first-time sex that reality is indeed far from orgasmic.
I like to have a rock - which isn't necessarily a bad thing ... but I like to keep my rocks close to heart ... which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I tend to either fall for them or manipulate them. To Jez's relief (I presume) I haven't any rocks at the moment. If you were wondering exactly what a rock is it's someone you turn to during difficult times. For me it's a guy I bitch about my boyfriend to when we have fights.
I throw tantrums - I manage to refrain from them now but they often manifest in random bouts of crying. It's bad, but compared to the time back in God-knows-when when I threw my new silver bracelet and the boyfriend's phone down a drain (the poor guy spent about 40 minutes retrieving the bracelet but the phone was nowhere to be found) it's positively ... positive.
I'm clingy - I'm sure whatever's responsible for this is also responsible for my habit of wearing an item of clothing immediately after purchase and barely taking it off for weeks. When I'm in love with someone every nanosecond spent more than five inches away from them is a nanosecond wasted. When I want to see them it's immediately if not sooner. I also tend to physically cling. This can sometimes be annoying.
I'm easily jealous and am a hypocrite - if I hear a girl on the other other side of the phone, I'll be sure to cross my arms and put on my grumpy face. If you do the same to me I'll wonder why you're such a psycho. I grasp onto my boyfriends harder when I notice another girl giving him the eye, but if I don't mind guys ogling me as I walk down the street neither should you. If I hear about you hanging out with female friends I'll Facebook every single one of them to check whether they're more attractive than I am, but it's perfectly normal for me to do the same because well, you know, most of my friends are guys.
I have unrealistic expectations - mainly when I put a ton of effort into something and you don't. I could secretly plan something huge for something I pretend I don't care about, and if you are incredulous that I'd go to such lengths after telling you that I really don't give a toss what we do for the anniversary/birthday/other random occasions I'd be outraged that you didn't manage to read my mind.
I'm snobby - back when the boyfriend's friends were high-school dropouts with the sole ambition of winning a popping contest I refused to associate with any of them. If I happened to have been dragged to an event and find myself in their presence I actually refused to interact with them at all. Oh and they usually misspelt pretty much everything they typed. But then again so does Mike.
Sometimes I do wonder why I post these things. I'll make sure my next post will be a list of reasons why you shouldn't listen to my self-directed criticisms and continue to love me and buy me stuff unconditionally.
Maroon 5
Tonight we saw the delicious Adam Levine in person.
And I can't type properly right now because Jez is sucking on my nipple.
And I can't type properly right now because Jez is sucking on my nipple.
4.03.2008
Smashed
"But hold your breath, because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you over again"
While sorting Darrell Lea stock, one of the huge slabs of glass on the shelf (and about a ton of jellybeans that sat on top of it) came crashing down onto the exact place I had been two seconds before.
When I think about it, it seems a little creepy. What if I hadn't moved? I might have gotten away with a headache, or a bruise on my skull, or a couple of cuts on my cheek, or the glass could have hit some extra-special portion of my brain that I become retarded and start thinking I'm a jelly baby.
Drama queen much, you say. But seriously, accidents happen just like that. You don't get even a second's notice! It was windy today and this morning my mum told me that a few unfortunate people always die on days with heavy wind. For example, awhile ago a man died because a tree fell and crushed his car while he was driving. Impeccable timing. It's like the piano-falling-on-head scenario but realistic.
While sorting Darrell Lea stock, one of the huge slabs of glass on the shelf (and about a ton of jellybeans that sat on top of it) came crashing down onto the exact place I had been two seconds before.
When I think about it, it seems a little creepy. What if I hadn't moved? I might have gotten away with a headache, or a bruise on my skull, or a couple of cuts on my cheek, or the glass could have hit some extra-special portion of my brain that I become retarded and start thinking I'm a jelly baby.
Drama queen much, you say. But seriously, accidents happen just like that. You don't get even a second's notice! It was windy today and this morning my mum told me that a few unfortunate people always die on days with heavy wind. For example, awhile ago a man died because a tree fell and crushed his car while he was driving. Impeccable timing. It's like the piano-falling-on-head scenario but realistic.
4.02.2008
Troubles
Before I get it on with my slideshow, I mean, get on with my slideshow, I'll make one more post.
I'm still running my fingers through my renewed hair. It feels heavenly.
There's something that has been bothering me. Since I'm always busy darting from place to place and spend my free time (i.e. time I spend on public transport) brain-training on my DS I don't think about anything except what word you get when you unjumble TSREDEIC. It's DISCREET, by the way.
On top of that, I'm terrified of being labelled a whinger. Complaints about pretty much everything from a scratch on my shoe to missing out the most recent episode of Heroes used to fall out of my mouth in a very verbal diarrhoeal kind of way, but lately I've been holding my tongue because not only am I unpleasant to listen to, whinging about something usually doesn't get rid of it.
But anyway, it might be healthy to let it out every so often.
For some reason I get myself into awful situations with work. Not at work, mind you. Work is great. Staff are great. Customers are great, and I don't deal with the ones that aren't. "Awful situations" relates to my hours, which I know is kind of random because one of the best things about my job is being able to turn up and leave as I please. However, this conflicts with my interests of wanting to please everyone. People tell me I should think of myself first but I can't stand disappointing others. Jez often tells me I have no backbone and he's quite right. I try to change that but so far the only progress I've made is to stop E from expressing his sexual interest.
So as a result, I'm working more than I'd like to. I'm tired pretty much all the time, and am never in the mood to study. My days are usually divided into uni and work during which I might have five spare minutes to grab lunch on the way to one or the other. I never have lunch with my friends. Never meet up early to study. Never study, period.
I know I have to draw the line somewhere. Ismat is already planning her holiday around my timetable and I told her that I won't under any circumstances work three saturdays in a row in addition to my shifts during the week. However, I caved in eventually and agreed to help out with two.
All of this makes life seem to drone on pointlessly. Time passes quickly but I don't know where it goes or where it's headed. Probably goes around in circles, because nothing ever changes (apart from when mid-sems come up and I'll be pulling out my eyeballs trying to cram everything I missed out while busy not focusing on uni).
What's worse, my educational decline is starting to affect Jez. Having already made him miss two lectures (one due to an unintentional bus trip to Coogee and the other due to sleeping) and bludge through three pre-planned study days, I'm continuing the trend this week. Tonight I went to his place after dinner and incredibly, after another pointless nap, started crying uncontrollably. I felt guilty and awful. I'm spiralling towards total failure and the only thing worse is if I drag someone else down with me. I thought briefly of leaving him for his own good, and immediately decided against it because despite what I've just said I'd probably rather be failures together than not have him. Mean, I know.
But I don't plan for us to be failures. I plan to grow some balls. And do my slideshow.
I'm still running my fingers through my renewed hair. It feels heavenly.
There's something that has been bothering me. Since I'm always busy darting from place to place and spend my free time (i.e. time I spend on public transport) brain-training on my DS I don't think about anything except what word you get when you unjumble TSREDEIC. It's DISCREET, by the way.
On top of that, I'm terrified of being labelled a whinger. Complaints about pretty much everything from a scratch on my shoe to missing out the most recent episode of Heroes used to fall out of my mouth in a very verbal diarrhoeal kind of way, but lately I've been holding my tongue because not only am I unpleasant to listen to, whinging about something usually doesn't get rid of it.
But anyway, it might be healthy to let it out every so often.
For some reason I get myself into awful situations with work. Not at work, mind you. Work is great. Staff are great. Customers are great, and I don't deal with the ones that aren't. "Awful situations" relates to my hours, which I know is kind of random because one of the best things about my job is being able to turn up and leave as I please. However, this conflicts with my interests of wanting to please everyone. People tell me I should think of myself first but I can't stand disappointing others. Jez often tells me I have no backbone and he's quite right. I try to change that but so far the only progress I've made is to stop E from expressing his sexual interest.
So as a result, I'm working more than I'd like to. I'm tired pretty much all the time, and am never in the mood to study. My days are usually divided into uni and work during which I might have five spare minutes to grab lunch on the way to one or the other. I never have lunch with my friends. Never meet up early to study. Never study, period.
I know I have to draw the line somewhere. Ismat is already planning her holiday around my timetable and I told her that I won't under any circumstances work three saturdays in a row in addition to my shifts during the week. However, I caved in eventually and agreed to help out with two.
All of this makes life seem to drone on pointlessly. Time passes quickly but I don't know where it goes or where it's headed. Probably goes around in circles, because nothing ever changes (apart from when mid-sems come up and I'll be pulling out my eyeballs trying to cram everything I missed out while busy not focusing on uni).
What's worse, my educational decline is starting to affect Jez. Having already made him miss two lectures (one due to an unintentional bus trip to Coogee and the other due to sleeping) and bludge through three pre-planned study days, I'm continuing the trend this week. Tonight I went to his place after dinner and incredibly, after another pointless nap, started crying uncontrollably. I felt guilty and awful. I'm spiralling towards total failure and the only thing worse is if I drag someone else down with me. I thought briefly of leaving him for his own good, and immediately decided against it because despite what I've just said I'd probably rather be failures together than not have him. Mean, I know.
But I don't plan for us to be failures. I plan to grow some balls. And do my slideshow.
Mmm... hair
For those skimping on the hair conditioner ... your hair must be crying - only it can't because it's so goddamn dry.
When my bottle of John Frieda conditioner ran out my mum replaced it with firstly $2 faux-Garnier from Aldi then some random watery formulation called Protene which was so ineffective that I might as well have been conditioning my hair with breadcrumbs.
The sheer length of my hair was enough to cause dry and split ends, not to mention the history of colours and daily use of the ghd. When I stopped using conditioner my hair went into uncontrollable tangles. Several times I found literal balls of hair that wouldn't come undone and ended up tugging out tufts of it in an attempt to detangle.
I thought I was doomed to haywire hair. Then my mother bought Pantene conditioner. Perhaps she has decided that quality overrides price after experiencing the wrath of Protene.
I've used Pantene for as long as I could remember. Even when I was a little kid in China I used Pantene to wash my hair. During high school my friends admired my lovely naturally-straight and never-exposed-to-ammonium tresses, which were possibly my best asset until I decided to go red and then brown and then orange and then black (about which time 3 out of 4 girls - including me - dyed their hair black and all - including me - were dumped by their boyfriends subsequently, sparkling rumours that black dye kills relationships).
Anyway, after about a month of unmanageably dry hair, I started conditioning again. It has only been two days and my hair is completely tangle-free and silky. Those Pantene ads weren't kidding. I'd advertise for them for free.
When my bottle of John Frieda conditioner ran out my mum replaced it with firstly $2 faux-Garnier from Aldi then some random watery formulation called Protene which was so ineffective that I might as well have been conditioning my hair with breadcrumbs.
The sheer length of my hair was enough to cause dry and split ends, not to mention the history of colours and daily use of the ghd. When I stopped using conditioner my hair went into uncontrollable tangles. Several times I found literal balls of hair that wouldn't come undone and ended up tugging out tufts of it in an attempt to detangle.
I thought I was doomed to haywire hair. Then my mother bought Pantene conditioner. Perhaps she has decided that quality overrides price after experiencing the wrath of Protene.
I've used Pantene for as long as I could remember. Even when I was a little kid in China I used Pantene to wash my hair. During high school my friends admired my lovely naturally-straight and never-exposed-to-ammonium tresses, which were possibly my best asset until I decided to go red and then brown and then orange and then black (about which time 3 out of 4 girls - including me - dyed their hair black and all - including me - were dumped by their boyfriends subsequently, sparkling rumours that black dye kills relationships).
Anyway, after about a month of unmanageably dry hair, I started conditioning again. It has only been two days and my hair is completely tangle-free and silky. Those Pantene ads weren't kidding. I'd advertise for them for free.
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