Grrr.

It's 11:00 am. I'm at work, and I'm in a rage.

Rage directed primarily at Jez for once again failing to grasp the concept of promises, little as they are. No seriously, I get that you're busy. I get that you're at camp and probably enjoying yourself beyond my imagination. But being considerate could be as simple as calling me on the way to the toilet and letting me know that you won't have time to talk until you're back. At least I won't be irritably waiting for absolutely nothing at all.

Eugene has noticed. He asked. I told. He said Jez is probably getting it on with some first-year commerce girls. Somehow I couldn't bring myself to doubt it.

So I thought about it. If he's going to mess around, it's going to happen sooner or later. If something as trivial as a 3-day camp can bring out this side of him (and that side exists because he has cheated before. Not on me, but whatever) then obviously this can't be someone I can be with.

Anyway, while it was quiet we had a bit of a talk, seeing as I was getting close to tears. Eugene, being after all twenty-six years old attributed everything to our young age. Apparently twenty-six-year-olds have a very different concept of relationships as twenty-year-olds do. I don't doubt this because six years is a lot of experience, but unlike Eugene I've never taken relationships lightly. I thought I was mature. But really I'm not.

I can never bring myself to discuss this sort of problem with my parents or grandparents. Age gap a bit too wide. Besides, now that they've finally stopped losing sleep worrying about me I don't want it them to start again. So this might possibly be the first time I'm talking about this with someone older. Not just two or three years older like Mike or Karen (the former probably has the maturity equivalent to a high-school kid anyway). It's not good. I'm sitting here feeling ten times more naive than I did half an hour ago. Everything I thought I had learnt from previous relationships somehow don't seem substantial anymore.

I've already listed my ugly quirks in some post a billion years ago. Sadly, I might have been taking the mickey back then, but I really am not kidding anymore.