By the way ...

Cosmo sucks.

But I guess when I've already bought this month's Marie Claire and Cleo I don't have much choice. But seriously, there isn't one article in Cosmo that people actually give a shit about. This month they feature a lengthy piece on Mischa Barton's LA apartment, and an interview with Hilary Duff on her fragrances which I don't think anybody buys.

The only thing that managed to grab my attention for more than a couple of nanoseconds was a story on how often we tell LWLs (little white lies) everyday. If you think about it you'd be amused.

Most of the time I lie to avoid hurting people's feelings, or to save myself from whatever inconveniences the truth might result in.

I lied to my parents about camp. Okay, that was a pretty big lie. Normally I lie about how much I've studied (always with a guilty little squirm and then silently promising that I'll make up for the amount of study I faked, then forget about it five minutes later and log on to Youtube to watch japanese dancing clips), whether or not I had a good day, and whether or not I've been to work. The latter is because they often tell me I should cut down on my shifts. Now that I've actually cut down I suppose I can stop.

I lie to strangers. For example, after asking a gazillion questions about a skincare product and finding out that I wasn't ready to spend nearly half as much as the cost, I'd tell the assistant I'll come back. Of course I never do, but I think they know it too. I lie about the price of my clothes when I get them on super sale. I shouldn't have told you that.

I don't lie much to my friends because usually there isn't anything to hide. Sometimes when my problems are too trivial or extremely private I avoid discussing them, but I don't think this equates to lying.

I'm guilty of the occasional LWL to Jez:

• "I'm fine with anything for dinner" - say pizza, and I'll say okay, but it was your idea.
• "No no, you can play WoW, I don't mind" - why don't you just marry Zokk?
• "Nothing's wrong" - can't you tell something's wrong?
• "I haven't been doing much" - I've watched "how's the pie" on Youtube about ten times, stalked your ex on Facebook, took webcam photos of myself, ran to the bathroom to check the comparative sizes of my breasts, had a cup of orange juice, plucked stray hairs from my knuckles, tried on some dresses and took a dump.

I suspect he tells me LWLs too. Like "sorry I missed your call" and "I haven't been watching porn."