Mmm... hair

For those skimping on the hair conditioner ... your hair must be crying - only it can't because it's so goddamn dry.

When my bottle of John Frieda conditioner ran out my mum replaced it with firstly $2 faux-Garnier from Aldi then some random watery formulation called Protene which was so ineffective that I might as well have been conditioning my hair with breadcrumbs.

The sheer length of my hair was enough to cause dry and split ends, not to mention the history of colours and daily use of the ghd. When I stopped using conditioner my hair went into uncontrollable tangles. Several times I found literal balls of hair that wouldn't come undone and ended up tugging out tufts of it in an attempt to detangle.

I thought I was doomed to haywire hair. Then my mother bought Pantene conditioner. Perhaps she has decided that quality overrides price after experiencing the wrath of Protene.

I've used Pantene for as long as I could remember. Even when I was a little kid in China I used Pantene to wash my hair. During high school my friends admired my lovely naturally-straight and never-exposed-to-ammonium tresses, which were possibly my best asset until I decided to go red and then brown and then orange and then black (about which time 3 out of 4 girls - including me - dyed their hair black and all - including me - were dumped by their boyfriends subsequently, sparkling rumours that black dye kills relationships).

Anyway, after about a month of unmanageably dry hair, I started conditioning again. It has only been two days and my hair is completely tangle-free and silky. Those Pantene ads weren't kidding. I'd advertise for them for free.