Day Seventytwo

In this month's Cosmopolitan, one article announces "We found DUDETOPIA!". On its side line it goes "Sex and the City: Where are the boys in the big smoke?" and lists one suburb in every major city with a high single-men-to-single-women ratio. First up: "Auburn, Sydney. Odds: 2.1 single men to 1 single woman".

Um ok, because Auburn's where all the eligible bachelors at.

Not that there are no decent men to be found in Auburn. Of course there are, but they probably weren't the contributors to the impressive ratio. No seriously though, what did Cosmo expect us to do? Surely not flock to Auburn right this minute?

This morning I left my stockings in Jez's sock drawer and warned him not to put them on when he gets home. I didn't know whether to laugh or be scared when I realised I didn't know whether or not I was joking. Later today I was reading Hamish's column in Cosmo and the guy has stumbled upon e-mancipate.net. A bit late. Mia Freedman found it months ago, and my feelings about it pretty much mirrors hers. Hamish, being Hamish, thought that he couldn't legitimately criticise the idea without having first experienced it. So he mail-orders some and "to my horror, I realise I've ordered 'full support opaque thigh-high stay up stockings', not one-piece pantyhose". I don't know which is worse. "Then it occurs to me it's the middle of the day and I'm standing in my bedroom stroking my stocking-clad legs".

There's a man from Kirribilli who buys a pair of satin stay-ups and red lipstick once a week. Eugene and I are sure they're not for a lady-friend. I'm still puzzled about the lipstick, but have alluded the frequency of stocking-purchase to the cruddy quality of Voodoo.

Anyway, the whole thing is mad. Just wear them at home in secret like man mentioned in above paragraph and Jez. Please.