Scared

Despite making desperate bids to be left home alone during my parents' trip to China last year, I confess that I'm scared shitless of finding myself in a deserted house at night.

After dinner, Jez drove me home to find that my parents hadn't returned from my mum's new office in Kogarah. Our house is rather big. Its front side features four large windows - two on the first floor and two on the second. When the interior lights aren't lit, they stare eerily at you, daring you to imagine what horrors you might encounter within.

Eventually Jez took the hint that I wanted him to escort me in. He walked behind me like a bodyguard as I flicked every light. Then left.

And I'm alone. I thought of showering but quickly disposed of the thought as I still have icky feelings related possibly to the clichéd horror movie scenes where some naked girl with wet hair gets attacked while scrubbing her armpits.

Anyway, the point is, there are a number of rather stupid fears I still retain. Said showers, for one. Here are some more:

● Hesitate to look into the bathroom mirror after bending over to rinse my face in fear of seeing bloody Mary standing behind me
● Routinely shut curtains before sleeping in case I wake up, glance at the window and see a face staring back
● Retract all limbs from the edges of the mattress while sleeping to prevent being dragged under the bed by the inhabitants below
● Keep the closet firmly closed during the night as it being open mildly suggests passage into and out of the room
● Train myself to look away from dark objects on midnight toilet trips (e.g. computer monitor, rooms with open doors, etc) as the hollow darkness scares me witless
● Avoid the first-floor hallway when there are no lights, because there are too many doors from too many directions to keep my eyes on them

It's illogical fear, I'm aware of it. Being scared of the dark is being scared of nothingness, of the unknown. But I suppose this is why people are so frightened of death. Well, I am.