There's a person who ...

Has a pile of unused textbooks stacked below his desk. Dislikes Ne-yo for the claps. Reads Marie Claire with enthusiasm. Has eyes that are different from one another - the left is larger, rounder and lighter in colour. Always drinks bottled water, even at home. Has recently taken a liking to raw scallops. Doesn't know where apart from Maloney's to go for drinks. Has worn the same shoulder-bag for the larger part of the past year. Loves Milo cereal. Loves Milo in general. Dislikes Milo Ventimiglia. Has trouble getting up for work. Visits peculiar salons and emerges with peculiar haircuts. Knows how to fix peculiar haircuts. Wears boardies at home. Doesn't know what to wear to the pool. Watches little TV. Has a level 70 warlock. Lies about being willing to delete level 70 warlock. Washes his face with St Ives apricot scrub. Could probably survive on potatoes for the rest of his life. Thinks Kate Moss is ugly. Farts often. Laughs afterwards. Sometimes groans and complains of pain. Goes swimming but doesn't swim. Has a two-pack, maybe now four. Has no bath toys other than mini cars. Loves sleeping while it rains. Has a stockings fetish. Smokes occasionally, more often during exams. Has been pining after a Macbook for the past nine months. Is a semi-former Yongfook fan. Eats at a cafe he knows is shit. Browses Facebook photos. Teases his mother. Never eats tofu. Drives a silver Corolla. Was once fond of falafel kebabs. Keeps lubricant in a brown toiletries bag. Used to keep condoms in a blueberry yoghurt box. Can't have sex using condoms. Writes to-do lists on a blue notepad. Drinks Tsunamis at Ramen Kan. Has a Fight Club poster on his wall. Would marry Catherine Zeta Jones if he could. Laughs manically at fat people. Plays his DS at work. Pays hefty phone bills. Has short eyelashes. Uses Clinique eye revitaliser. Hates mango tuna. Keeps instant noodles in his filing cabinet. Wears a silver hoop on his left ear. Has a mole resembling a piercing on his right ear. Loves lamb massaman curry. Usually has dry lips but refuses lip balm. For some reason likes pizza but eats it without the ingredient that defines pizza. Is openly gay with Nathan. Pines after Felix. Has a voice that seems incapable of volume exceeding that of normal speech. Owns a tweed Pete Doherty hat. Has something like six bottles of cologne but only wears Kenneth Cole. Is fond of sashimi. Works at F&W. Wears tiny aspirin patches over blemishes. Owns a bottle of revolting cough suppressant. Almost never gets sick. Wears black chucks. Plays with his neighbour's cats. Has stinky underarms. Likes to keep his blanket and blanket cover separate. Makes turkey and cranberry sandwiches. Never changes his ringtone from the bomchikawahwah thing. Walks to Central station from work even though Town Hall is closer. Complains most about his belly, then nose. Has mini-fangs. Orders only mochas from GJ's. Keeps notes and cards in a money clip. Uses Optifree contact solution. Wears black emo Kitoya glasses, which aren't strong enough for his eyes. Window-shops online, a lot. Reads Naruto. Also reads some gay comic about tennis. Throws up on his bedroom floor after excessive drinking. Throws up all over his girlfriend's shoes. Doesn't own an iPod and lies about not wanting one. Has no hair on his upper arms. Has plenty of it on his legs. Spends his entire weekend in the company of one person. Is revoltingly lovey-dovey in public. Becomes extremely quiet when upset. Sometimes says things he doesn't mean. Always takes them back. Is mature. Is considerate. Is caring. Is in love. Is very much loved. <3