Not On My Mind

Without realising it, it's already been something like one year since my ex and I split. Honestly it feels nowhere near as long. I suppose if you were young, naive, carefree and spent three years of your life with one person thinking "this is it", you might share my feelings of mild bewilderment to find not only how easy it was to move on, but how quick moving on can be.

I feel about the matter the same as I did two days after the break-up. Indifference with a splash of regret, a pinch of defiance (you break up with me? Please ...), and a dab of relief.

I remember a line from this Jon Foreman song I used to really like - "two years later you're still on my mind". At 2:30 am on whichever day of February it was in '07, after I randomly SMS'ed five people (my boss included) with the same message, I wondered dully whether the lyrics would hold true for me in two years' time. Two days later, however, I was already crushing on a guy from my course that my mother said resembled a middle-aged woman.

No, that wasn't the rebound.

Rebound was probably worse. I don't know. It's a tight draw.

Nobody had ever heard of anybody bouncing off a long-term relationship like I did. Even I can't explain it. I cried for a total of five minutes. I cry more during The Lion King.

So three months later I fell in love with Jez. Some think I fall in love too easily. They might be onto something.

I'm heading to my bed to call Jez so we could talk on the phone like we have done every night for the past 280 days. Twelve months ago this would probably have been the very last thing I would have guessed I'd be doing twelve months later.