Day Eightythree

HAPPY ONE-MONTH-TO-GO-UNTIL-1.5-YEARS JEZ BABY BEAR BEAR BUNNY BUGGY MOO MOO KITTEN <3

After painstakingly summarising 80-something-pages (or 1.3 MB of) obs-gyn lecture notes comprised of deliberately-baffling diagrams I was peeling my eyelids back to fight sleep.

However, after the very last page I've come to peace with it.

"WHAT DOES NOT WORK

• Jumping up and down after sex
• Standing on your head after sex
• Using cling wrap
• Taking an antibiotic pill after sex
• Taking a shower or going for a swim after sex
• Thinking that if you don't want it, it won't happen
• Wishing/praying"

I can nearly understand the vague logic of jumping up and down, but by the same logic standing on your head would facilitate spermy journey?

Need elaboration on cling wrap. If they had added "and elastic band" I'd know exactly what they're talking about.

Taking an antibiotic pill after sex is funny, but probably only to the intelligent few privileged to the fact that bacteria are not what gets you pregnant. And antibiotics are in fact often responsible for the failure of oral contraceptives.

Showering is a good idea, especially when your sexual partner, like mine, suffers terrible body odour. But again, body odour does not impregnate.

I like the last two. Will try them out tonight.