Bye Base

Lab took a very long time indeed. Granted, I still finished 30 minutes ahead of time, but that 30 minutes could easily have been 90 had I not been obliged to prepare a total of over 20 dilutions, 10 of which served (as I found out only after I produced them) absolutely no purpose.

William had troubles of a much lesser degree. Our experiments were virtually identical, but once we began diluting our known I came across the problem of precipitates. William found it amusing and moved on to UV spectrophotometry while I fetched new flasks to recreate my secondary solutions. When his unknown samples produced absorbances way out of the accuray range, it was my turn to laugh, though that didn't last long as Effie examined mine and decided that I should start the entire experiment from beginning - using water instead of base. This renders not only everything I've done during today's prac, but also the pracs of the past two weeks completely useless.

I was relieved to leave at last. I caught the bus intending to seek out the expensive Pilgrim dress I tried on Wednesday, but decided that I couldn't justify spending that much money. On my way back to Central I found a dress in Sheike for half the price.

I had a slight tiff with my parents tonight. In the afternoon my mum called to very randomly berate me for not watching the Chinese channel coverage on the Sichuan earthquake. This is very, very random and I didn't know whether she was serious or she had spent her day off with a bottle of Bailey's.

When my parents picked me up tonight they asked whether I had just come from work. I said I was at uni. Funnily enough this resulted in an angry lecture on the stupidity of sacrificing education for shitkicker jobs. It was as if they had been rehearsing yelling at me, only my answer to their trigger quesion wasn't the trigger.

I wondered how I always manage to give them a reason to be angry with me. Even when I don't give a reason they're angry with me. I love my mum, but a lot of the time I'm scared of her. Her temper is less stable than technitium-99m. When she's happy with me (e.g. last night) she'd stroke my hair like I was a cat. When she's upset (e.g. this afternoon) she'd say she's ashamed to be my mother. Might I add that I neither gave her anything to be happy about last night nor anything to be upset about this afternoon.

My parents dropped me off at home tonight. I went inside. They slammed the gate and resumed their nightly stroll. I called Jez and cried over it.

Whatever vault-like qualities I initially display when I'm unhappy, after a certain amount of time I open up like a book. Sometimes we skip the whole vault thing altogether. In any case, I talk. I find the gritty bits of life easier to deal when they're discussed. And I've never met a non-talker before I met Jez.

Sometimes I overlook this quality of his. I'd forget that unlike me, Jez resolves problems alone. I didn't notice that he never felt the need to turn to me for anything. I might also be ignorant of the fact that being unwilling to talk doesn't imply being willing to listen.

So when I asked rheutorically who I'm supposed to go to when I have problems, Jez reminded me that it isn't him. I didn't really know what to say. He thinks I'm dependent. That I should be able to deal with things on my own, just like him. What if I didn't have him? He asked. How am I supposed to handle everything then? I never said I couldn't. I never said I'd be overwhelmed if I was alone. Walking in the rain doesn't hurt, but Jez was my umbrella.

Oh hey ... I just noticed Myer sent me a gift card. Win!