10.30.2008

Day Ninetythree

All men are addicted to porn. Except Eugene who claims total indifference, but you know, who knows. And don't ask how we found ourselves amidst such a discussion because I'm not quite sure I want to remember.

Quite fair to say that most women are in various degrees of disapproval regarding their partner's pornography habits. I categorise my level of reproach as "moderate". It may have been "low" had I refrained from venturing far enough to comparatively study the importance of porn and, well, me.

For the sake of my self-worth I'm going to assume that I'm not the only female who finds herself more disposable in her partner's eyes than videos of bigger breasts or tighter vaginas. Although porn habits remain largely beyond my understanding, I'm not one to deprive a man of the luxury. However, understandably, I hope, losing to porn doesn't sit extremely well with me. My bad, though, right? Serves me right for succumbing to curiosity. But surely a man's self-esteem would shrink like a flaccid penis if his girlfriend would sooner sacrifice him than visuals of other, better-endowed boys?

I have a couple of friends in long-term relationships, who decided that it was easier to believe their boyfriends' promises to quit porn and push the issue to the back of their minds rather than ponder endlessly over whether such promises were kept. I have no doubt that every woman has seen and ignored the contents of C:\Documents and Settings\Guest\DRIVERS\SnD_User\system23\temp\Country Music and has trained themselves not to question what lies under that loose piece of floorboard. We'd rather not know, but we know. The epic battle of woman vs. porn has been fought. We battled bravely, but alas ... a small consolation prize finds itself in the form of reduced guilt when fantasising about bedding other men.

You might dismiss my little issue as "just a guy thing". Well, it is. And we won't take it away from you. We would just like to remind you that you're lucky man-fest features in Cosmopolitan rarely exert the same - and, if anything, quite the opposite - effect.